Alphabet Jokes / Recent Jokes
What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.
I am a college student.
I've missed class to watch Jenny Jones. I've partied until 7 in the morning. I live for Southpark and Sportscenter.
I watch Jerry Springer religiously.
I'm broke. I've spent over $300 at one time buying text books. I spend that much in a month on beer. I drink 'til the sun comes up. I wake up 10 minutes before class.
I fall asleep 10 minutes into class.
I can't remember the last time I washed my car.
I'm not sure where the library is.
I procrastinate. I'm lazy. C2H5OH is my favorite chemical compound.
I'd rather do E-mails than do schoolwork. I'd rather sleep than do E-mails. I'd rather drink than sleep. I fund the University through my parking tickets and phone bills. I drink on Sundays. I have an alcohol bottle collection on display in my room. I haven't eaten breakfast in a year.
I order pizza at midnight. I make popcorn at 1:00. I do E-mails at 2:00. I watch TV at 3:00. I go to sleep around 4:00. I know the Greek alphabet more...
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
Which two letters of the alphabet are nothing? MT (empty).
Q: Which is the most self-centered letter of the alphabet?
A: "i" (I)
Q: Which letter is always trying to find reasons?
"y" (Why?")
Q: Which letter is not me?
A: U.
Q: What letter can do the work in one day that you can do in two days?
A: W (Double u- Double you)
Q: Why don't we need a compass at the North Pole?
A: Because every direction is south.
Q: Why is the A like a flower?
A: Because the B is after it.
Why is the letter "A" like noon?
Because it's in the middle of the day.
Q: "What letter of the alphabet has got lots of water?"
A: "The C"
Q: "What letter of the alphabet is always waiting in order?"
A: "The Q. (queue)
One day Johnny was sitting in class and had to go to the bathroom so he raised his hand to ask the teachers permission. The teacher told Johnny if he could say the alphabet he could go to the bathroom. Johnny stumbled through it and got it all wrong and had to hold it. So Johnny studied and studied and felt as though he knew the alphabet perfectly. The next day when Johnny had to use the bathroom he rose his hand to ask the teacher could he go. The teacher said if you can say the alphabet I'll let you go. So Johnny started to say the alphabet ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ. The teacher then asked Johnny well where's the P, and Johnny responded it's running down my leg.
What three letters in the alphabet frighten criminals? F.B.I.