Amma Jokes

The story begins in a Colombo suburb........ the mother was very concerned that her middle-aged son has not shown the slightest indication of getting married.
So one day she called her son to her house.
The son came home from work, grudgingly. Upon arriving, he found that his mother had gathered a few beautiful ladies at the house for him to choose as his future bride.
The first one was a well-endowed telephonist-cum-receptionist. He
immediately commented that:
"Aiyoo amma, they always say.... PLEASE HOLD ON, HOLD ON........"
The second nominee was a leggy secretary. This was rejected also. Reason being: - "Aiyoo... amma, secretary are always fond of saying " PLEASE SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN...."
By this time, the mother is nearing frustration. She called a sweet but plain-looking teacher. The son suddenly agreed!! The mother was surprised and asked, "Why this one? The previous two were a lot more better more...

The story begins in a Colombo suburb. The mother was very concerned that her middle-aged son has not shown the slightest indication of getting married. So one day she called her son to her house.
The son came home from work, grudgingly. Upon arriving, he found that his mother had gathered a few beautiful ladies at the house for him to choose as his future bride.

The first one was a well-endowed telephonist-cum-receptionist. He immediately commented that: "Aiyoo amma, they always say.... PLEASE HOLD ON. .. HOLD ON........"
The second nominee was a leggy secretary. This was rejected also. Reason being: "Aiyoo... amma, secretaries are always fond of Saying "PLEASE SLOW DOWN. .. SLOW DOWN...."

By this time, the mother is nearing frustration. She called a sweet but plain-looking teacher. The son suddenly agreed!!
The mother was surprised and asked, "Why this one? The previous two were a lot better looking!"
He more...

One day Senaka invited his mother over to dinner. During the meal his mother couldn't help noticing how attractive and shapely the new housemaid was. She started to wonder if there was more between Senaka and the housemaid that met her eye.

About a week later, the housemaid came to Senaka and said "ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the Polkatu handa. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

Senaka said "well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote.

Dear Amma,
I'm not saying that you took a Polkatu handa from my house, and I'm not saying you didn't take a handa, but the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Senaka Putha.

Several days later, Senaka received a letter from his mother, which said,

Dear Putha,
I'm not saying that you do sleep with your housemaid, and I'm not saying more...

A family in Southern India was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother arrived from USA. It was sent by one of the daughters. The corpse was tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it! When they opened the lid, they found a letter on top, which read as follows:
Dear brothers and sisters,
I am sending our mother's body to you, since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral
home in Andhra. Sorry, I could not come along, as all of my paid leave has been consumed.
You will find inside the coffin, under Amma's body, 12 cans of cheese, 10 packets of chocolates and 5 packets of Badam. Please divide these among all of you. On Amma's feet, you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes(size 10) for Mohan. Also, there are 2 pairs of shoes for Radha's and Lakshmi's sons. Hope the sizes are correct.
Amma is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan and the others for my nephews. Just istribute them among more...

A family at Changanachery (Kerala) was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother arrived from Dubai. It was sent by one of the daughters. The dead body was so tightly squeezed into the coffin, with no space left in it! When they opened the lid they found a letter on top which read as follows:
Dear brothers and sisters,
I am sending our mother's body to you, since it was her wish that she should be buried in the parelpally cemetry. Sorry, I could not come along because nurses salary is going to increase from next month so I doubt whether I will get in case I am not here. You will find inside the coffin, under Amma's body, 12 cans of cheese, 10 packets of chocolates and 4 packets of Badam. Please divide these among all of you. On the sides of her head there is a tin of Nido and Tang. On Amma's feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoe (size 10) for Biju.
Also, there are 2 pairs of shoes for Lijju's and Ammani's sons. Hope the sizes are correct. Amma is wearing 6 more...