"A Letter from a Mallu Nurse in Gulf" joke

A family at Changanachery (Kerala) was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother arrived from Dubai. It was sent by one of the daughters. The dead body was so tightly squeezed into the coffin, with no space left in it! When they opened the lid they found a letter on top which read as follows:
Dear brothers and sisters,
I am sending our mother's body to you, since it was her wish that she should be buried in the parelpally cemetry. Sorry, I could not come along because nurses salary is going to increase from next month so I doubt whether I will get in case I am not here. You will find inside the coffin, under Amma's body, 12 cans of cheese, 10 packets of chocolates and 4 packets of Badam. Please divide these among all of you. On the sides of her head there is a tin of Nido and Tang. On Amma's feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoe (size 10) for Biju.
Also, there are 2 pairs of shoes for Lijju's and Ammani's sons. Hope the sizes are correct. Amma is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large ssize is for Sujoy and the others are for Tomy and Suresh. Amma is also wearing 6 Wonder Bras and 12 Victoria's Secret panties. Just distribute them among yourselves. The 2 new Jeans Amma wearing are for the boys. The Swiss watch that Minju wanted is on Amma's left wrist. Tangamma Aunty, Amma is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you had asked for, Please take them. The 6 white cotton socks that Amma is wearing must be divided among Johnny and Nikhil. In Amma's pockets there are about 25 envelopes that are to be posted immediately. Some are drafts from the exchange company. Those marked "By Hand" are to be hand delivered (these are letters from my friends in the hostel, "pisukkikal thanne, enthu cheyyam").
There is also Rosamma's wedding album I brought here to show (off) my friends in Riggae hostel on my last visit. Also, you will find some syringes and two boxes of panadol and some other medicines which I don't know what for. But still I am sending them. Give it to the neighbours of Shantamma, OK? Johnny chettanu joli onnum ayilla, Prarthikkanam ketto.
Ellavareyum orthu kondu shesham nerittu kanumbol.
Laly Mol.
(From an unknown source)

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