Andy Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was this contest if 3 guys dicks would add up to 21 inches they would win 3 million dollars.
So Mac goes first pulls his out 10 inches
Next was Andy pulls his out 10inches
Last but not least was Ben pulls his out 1 inch
Ding Ding Ding... we have winners
so after the contest Mac said "
if it wasn't for my 10 inch penis we wouldn't of won."
Andy said "
if it wasn't for my 10 inch penis we wouldn't of won."
Ben goes "
hold up guys if i wouldn't of popped a boner we wouldn't of never won!!!"

A dumb Blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, "Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test." "Oh, No!" she said but Saint Peter said not to worry he'd make it easy." Who was God's son?" said Saint Peter. The dumb Blonde thought for a few minutes and said, "Andy!""That's interesting.. . What made you say that?" said Saint PeterThen She started to sing: "Andy walks with me! Andy talks with me! Andy tells me.. . "

One day Andy was out fishing. Suddenly, he caught a fish that looked like a stick. Andy thought this was very strange, but he took the fish home with him. After pondering for many days about why the fish looked like a stick, he realised that it WAS in fact a stick. That made Andy very disappointed.

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all of his fellow inmates.
The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time. After 3 years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area. Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community.... and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over.
The warden was thinking of remodeling his kitchen and in fact had done much of the work himself. But he lacked the skills to build a set of kitchen cupboards and a large counter top which he had promised his wife. So he called Andy into his office and asked him to complete the job for him.
But, alas, Andy refused.
He told the warden, "Gosh, I'd really like to help you but counter fitting is what got me into prison in the first place".

Andy said, "Doc, I had the worst dream of my life last night. I dreamed I was with twelve of the most beautiful chorus girls in the world. Blondes, brunettes, redheads, all dancing in a row."

The psychiatrist replied, "Hold it, Andy. That doesn't sound so terrible."

"Oh yeah?" said Andy, "In the dream, I was the third girl from the end."

The teacher asked little Andy if he knew his numbers yet. "Yes, teacher," he said, "my dad taught me."
"Good, Andy. Tell me what comes after two," the teacher said. "Three," replied Andy.
"Very good. What comes after five, Andy?" asked the teacher. "Six," answered Andy.
"Excellent. Your dad did a very good job. Now, what comes after ten?" the teacher asked.
"A jack!" replied Andy.

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time. After three years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area. Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community.... and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over. The warden was thinking of remodeling his kitchen and in fact had done much of the work himself. But he lacked the skills to build a set of kitchen cupboards and a large counter top which he had promised his wife. So he called Andy into his office and asked him to complete the job for him. But, alas, Andy refused. He told the warden, "Gosh, I'd really like to help you but counter fitting is what got me into prison in the first place".