Ant Jokes / Recent Jokes
Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything but the golfball. It sat in the same spot.
So he lined up and tried another shot. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants went flying again. The golf ball didn't even wiggle.
Two ants survived. One dazed ant said to the other, "Whoa! What are we going to do?"
Said the other ant: "I don't know about you, but I'm going to get on the ball
Q: What State in the United States is High in the middle and round at the ends?
A: Ohio.
Q: "There were some twins. One was twenty, the other was twenty 2. One married the other. How can be this? "
A: "One was twenty, the other twenty too. One was a priest so he married the other"
PS: These sentences must be asked orally. Pronunciation is important. (too = 2)
Q: How do you spell mousetrap?
A: C-A-T.
This one should be spoken.
Q: How many legs does an ant have?
A: Two, the same as an uncle.
(HINT: ant = aunt)
Q: How many people are buried in that cemetery?
A: All of them.
Q: What can't be used until it's broken?
A: An egg.
Q: What do tigers have that no other animals have?
A: Baby tigers.
Q: What is Black and white and read (red) all over?
A: A newspaper
What do you get if you cross some ants with some tics? All sorts of antics!
THE ORIGINAL VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
MODERN CANADIAN VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come the winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
The CBC shows up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. Canadians are stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in a country of such more...