Ant Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking,
But a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely
BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.

One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption:
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

Three FASTEST means of Communication:
Tele-Phone
Tele-Vision
Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.

Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters
not their friends.

A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best
wine and Best Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral: BE SPECIFIC

What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends.

Let us be generous like this:
Four Ants are moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT more...

What do you call an ant who skips school? A truant!

Once an ant and elephant were going on a new scooter. They met with an accidant. The elephant was died but ant was alive. Why?
Because ant was wearing a helmate.

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with an ant?
A: A dead ant.

Q: How do you get an elephant on top of an oak tree?
A: Stand him on an acorn and wait fifty years.
Q: What if you don't want to wait fifty years?
A: Parachute him from an airplane.

Q: How do you make a dead elephant float?
A: Well, you take 10 dead elephants, 10 tons of chocolate ice-cream, 5 tons of bananas,.....

Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
A: A submarine with a built-in snorkel.

Q: How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed?
A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.

Q. Which is the biggest ant in the world?

A. ELEPHANT

Once some hunters were after an elephant. The elephant didn't know what to do. He met his friend, ant on the road. He told ant his problem.

She said: "Don't worry. just hide behind me! !! "

What do you call a smart ant? Elegant!