Anybody Jokes / Recent Jokes
Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight? You're going out? Yes. With whom? With a friend. I don't know why you left your husband. He is such a good man. I didn't leave him. He left me! You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies. I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids? I never left you to go out with anybody except your father. There are lots of things that you did and I don't. What are you hinting at? Nothing. I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight. You're going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if he finds out? My EX husband. I don't think he would be bothered. From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone! So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place? He's not a loser. A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite. I don't want to argue. Should I bring over the kids or not? Poor children with such a mother. Such as what? With no stability. No more...
The teacher stood at the front of the room. "Does anybody know what this Monday is?"
About half of the students raised their hands. The teacher pointed to one of them. "It's Columbus Day!" he crowed.
The teacher smiled. "It is. Does anybody know why we celebrate it?"
This time, only one student raised her hand. "It's the day the Indians discovered Columbus!"
How very true indeed.
A math teacher gets called to the principal's office one day and the principal says to him, "We need a new Sex-Ed teacher and you are it."
The Math teacher exclaims, "But I have never taught Sex-Ed before what am I going do?"
The principal replies, "Well, you have until Monday to think of something, because that is when the class starts."
The math teacher decides that he is going to use flash cards to teach the Sex-Ed class, because they have worked extremely well in teaching his math class.
On Monday morning, the teacher is feeling very confidant. He walks into the room, and begins to teach the class. He holds up the first flash card and asks, "Can anybody tell me what this is?"
Little Jill stands up and replies, "That's a breast and my mommy has two."
The math teacher says, "That's right Jill! It is a breast, and your mommy does have two."
The math teacher grabs the next flash card and asks, more...
It has become pretty obvious to us Southerners that our present astrological signs have served their purpose and that we should get rid of them. When I'm out driving around I'll see bulls, and once in a great while I suppose I'll even see a ram. Up the street from me there's some twins, but I don't see them much. The rest of these things are just too obscure. You only see crabs on vacation. There are no lions or scorpions, not many archers and no water bearers. Virgins? The neighborhood's not crawling with them either. SO, what we need here is some relevance. We need things we can recognize up there in the night sky.
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OKRA Dec 22 - Jan 20 Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside. Okra have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies.
CHITLIN Jan 21 - Feb 19 Chitlins often come from humble backgrounds. Many times they're more...