Apparition Jokes

Looking for a good place to party on Halloween? Check out these houses!
Bloomington, Indiana
Name: Indiana University
Location: unknown
This building, now used for administrative purposes, was once a stop on the "Underground Railroad". Today, there are many reports of African spiritual songs emanating from the basement.
Elletsville, Indiana
Name: Stepp Cemetery
Location: Morgan-Monroe forest
In this cemetery that is only accessible by foot, during midnight, an apparition of a lady appears on a rock that resembles a chair. On Halloween, many cult groups venture to this place to conduct ceremonies.
Evansville, Indiana
Name: The Gray Lady
Location: Willard Library - First Ave.
When this building was an abandoned train station, many drifters and hobos used it for shelter. During that time, a woman was murdered on the premises, and it is said that she still haunts the building. Her presence is most often felt in the children's more...

An apparition attired in green and red was questioned about its
unusual attire. “I’m a Christmas wraith” was the reply.

HUMPTY DUMPTY
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King's Horses and all the King's men
Came and ate scrambled eggs again.

Father Bear: Someone has been eating my porridge.
Mother Bear: Someone has been eating my porridge.
Baby Bear (crying): Someone has been eating my porridge!
Granny Bear: Oh, will you all please cut it out?! I haven't even served
the porridge yet!

Why is a pig's tail like getting up at 3 am?. .. Its twirly.

Why did Robin Hood rob only the rich?. .. Because the poor had no money.

Horse walks into a bar. Bartender asks him, "Why the long face?"

Two peanuts walking down the street, one of them's a salted.

What kind of rocks are on the bottom of the Mississippi River? WET rocks.

What is a plumbers favourite flower?. .. Draineeums.

What do you call a pumped-up pumpkin?. .. A jock more...

A famous magazine photographer was dispatched to a famous haunted house to get shots of the apparition residing there. In the haunted house, when the clock struck 12 midnight, the apparition appeared on the staircase landing. Amazingly, the apparition posed (like a supermodel) for the photographer! But lighting was very bad at the moment and the camera flash batteries were LOW. Anyway, the photographer snapped away. But the pictures did not come out well because of the low batteries.

He later explained to his boss at the magazine this way:' The spirit was willing, but the flash was weak.'