Applause Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was a costume party at a mental hospital; the theme of the party was "war". The first person comes up onto the stage and says, "I'm an atomic bomb." He gets his applause and steps down. The second person comes up and says, "I'm a hydrogen bomb." Again, there's applause and he steps down. And then a naked little man comes up to the stage and says, "I'm dynamite." Everybody runs away hysterically. When one of them is asked why, he says, "Didn't you see how small his fuse was?"

The soldiers are tired and lonely after spending weeks in enemy territory. To entertain them, the Major called for this sexy dancer from the nearby town.

She came, danced and when the first dance was done, the soldiers went mad. They clapped for 5 minutes.

For her second number, she stripped and danced in sheer bra and G string. This time the applause went for 10 minutes.

The next number she danced topless, and this time the applause went on and on. The Major had to come on stage and ask them to quiet down for the grand finale.

For her last number, she was to strip completely and dance naked. The Major expected the soldiers to make enough noise to bring the roof down. But ten minutes later, there is no clapping and the dancer comes backstage.

The Major asks her, "What happened? How come there was no clapping this time?"

She replied with a wicked smile, "Major, how do you expect those poor boys to clap more...

The game was drifting off into total boredom, when a man in the crowd suddenly burst into a round of applause.

The man next to him said' Why did you do that?'

'Sorry' he replied' I was trying to keep myself awake!'

The SETTING: Pageant Night Ms. Universe Beauty Pageant Q & A Portion THE FINALISTS: Ms. America Ms. Spain Ms. Britain Ms. Iran Ms. India Ms. Philippines QUESTION: Ms. America, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. AMERICA: Well, I would say that, male organs in America are like gentlemen. QUESTION: Why do you say that? MS. AMERICA: Because it stands every time it sees a woman. (Applause... Applause) QUESTION: Ms. Spain, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. SPAIN: Male organs in our country are like toros in our very own bullfight. QUESTION: Why do you say that? MS. SPAIN: Because it charges every time it sees an opening. (Applause.... Applause) QUESTION: Ms. Britain, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. BRITAIN: Male organs in our country are like Shakespearian actors. QUESTION: Why do you say that? MS. BRITAIN: Because it cries after every performance. (Applause... Applause) QUESTION: Ms. Iran, how would you describe a male more...

There was a costume party at a mental hospital; the theme of the party was "war".
The first person comes up onto the stage and says, "I'm an atomic bomb." He gets his applause and steps down.
The second person comes up and says, "I'm a hydrogen bomb." Again, there's applause and he steps down.
And then a naked little man comes up to the stage and says, "I'm dynamite."
Everybody runs away hysterically. When one of them is asked why, he says, "Didn't you see how small his fuse was?"