Artist Jokes / Recent Jokes

A bumper sticker for artists: "My other car is a bike, too."

Artists do it by design.

Artists do it expressively.

Artists do it with creativity.

Artists do it with emotion.

Artists do it with flair.

Artists do it with longer strokes.

A woman walks into a tattoo parlour and asks' Do you do custom work?''Why of course!''Good. I'd like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of myright thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside ofmy left thigh.''No problem,' says the artist.' Strip from the waist down and getup on the table.'After two hours of hard work, the artist finishes. The woman sits up and examines the tattoos.'That doesn't look like them!' she complains loudly.'Oh yes it does,' the artist says indignantly,' and Ican prove it.' With that, he runs out of the shopand grabs the first man off the street he can find; it happens to be the town drunk.'Well, what do you think?' the woman asks, spreadingher legs.' Do you know who these men are?'The drunk studies the tattoos for a couple of minutesand says.' I'm not sure who the guys on either side are, but the fellow in the middle is definately Willie Nelson!'

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any recent interest in his paintings, which happened to be on display."I have good news and bad news," the gallery owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death.""What did you say?" questioned the artist."When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.""That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed."What's the bad news?""The gentleman was your doctor."

When watching the Clinton video, did you get the feeling of "deja vu" - of
watching something that you had just seen in a similar structure?
Well your brain never fails. By reading below, you will see the remarkable
similarities between the Clinton Video and the Titanic Video. Was this just by
coincidence... or much more.
You be the judge.
Titanic vs. Clinton: Incredible Similarities
TITANIC VIDEO: Over 3 hours long and $9.99 on the Internet.
CLINTON VIDEO: Over 3 hours long and $9.99 on the Internet.
TITANIC VIDEO: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, a subsequent
catastrophe.
CLINTON VIDEO: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, a subsequent
catastrophe.
TITANIC VIDEO: Villain: White Star Line.
CLINTON VIDEO: Villain: Ken Starr.
TITANIC VIDEO: Jack is a starving artist.
CLINTON VIDEO: Bill is a B.S. artist.
TITANIC VIDEO: In one part, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
CLINTON VIDEO: more...

A well known modern artist was commissioned to do his interpretation of Custer's Last Stand. After spending two years on the gigantic painting, a big ceremony was held for its unveiling.
The entire art community, the press and members of the government were all present, eagerly awaiting the moment when the curtain would be drawn, unveiling the painting. Finally, all the guests sat down and the sheet covering the canvas was drawn and a shocked silence filled the room.
In the center of the painting stood a large cow with a halo, surrounded by thousands of Indians, all engaged in various sorts of sex.
On one in the room new quite how to react when a reporter for the times stood up und addressed the artist, "Sir, could you please explain the imagery in this painting. I'm afraid I don't understand much about modern art."
"Sure thing," said the artist, "This painting represents my conception of what was going through General Custard's mind at the more...

A couple is at an Art exhibition, and they are looking at a portrait that has them a little taken aback. The picture depicts 3 very black, very naked men, sitting on a park bench; 2 have a black penis, and the one in the middle has a pink penis.
As the couple is looking somewhat puzzled at the picture, the artist walks by and says "Can I help you with this painting. I'm the artist who painted it."
The man says "Well, we like the painting but don't understand why you have 3 African men on a bench, and the one in the middle has a pink penis, while the other two have black penises."
The artist says "Oh, you are misinterpreting the painting. They're not African men, they are Irish coal miners and the one in the middle went home for lunch.