Artist Jokes / Recent Jokes
Why did the artist put on a show of horse paintings? He wanted to mount an exhibit!
During the young painter's showing of his recent works of art, one of the guests had something critical to say about each of his paintings.
Finally, she stopped in a small anteroom and stood staring at an elaborately framed object for several minutes.
"Tell me," she said to the artist, "does this represent one of those loathsome abstract paintings?"
"No, madam," said the artist. "Look a bit closer and you will see that you have discovered the hallway mirror."
Titanic Video vs Clinton Video
TITANIC VIDEO: $9.99 on Internet.
CLINTON VIDEO: $9.99 on Internet.
TITANIC VIDEO: Over 3 hours long.
CLINTON VIDEO: Over 3 hours long.
TITANIC VIDEO: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, a subsequent catastrophe.
CLINTON VIDEO: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, a subsequent catastrophe.
TITANIC VIDEO: Villain: White Star Line.
CLINTON VIDEO: Villain: Ken Starr.
TITANIC VIDEO: Jack is a starving artist.
CLINTON VIDEO: Bill is a B.S. artist.
TITANIC VIDEO: In one part, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
CLINTON VIDEO: Ditto for Bill.
TITANIC VIDEO: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
CLINTON VIDEO: Ditto for Monica.
TITANIC VIDEO: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
CLINTON VIDEO: Let's not go there.
TITANIC VIDEO: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
CLINTON VIDEO: Monica's forced to return her gifts.
TITANIC VIDEO: Behind the scenes: Leonardo DiCaprio is wildly more...
A man walks into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that he would like a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his penis. Disgusted, the tattoo artist replies,"I do NOT tattoo ANYTHING on ANYONES penis." The man repeats, "Please, I really, really, want a hundred dollar bill tattooed on my penis." The tattoo artist again tells the man that he will not tattoo a hundred dollar bill on his penis. After a while of begging and pleading for a hundred dollar bill to be tattooed on his penis, the tattoo artist finally says, "Alright, give me three good reasons why you want a hundred dollar bill tattooed on your penis?" To which the man replied, "Well, I like to play with my money, and, I like to watch my money grow, and... my wife can blow a hundred bucks in 30 seconds"
An eccentric billionaire wanted a mural painted on his library wall, so he called in an artist. Describing what he wanted, the billionaire said, "I am a history buff, and I would like your interpretation of the last thing that went through Custer's mind before he died. I am going out of town on business for a week, and when I return I expect to see it completed."
Upon his return, the billionaire went to the library to examine the finished work. To his surprise he found a painting of a cow with a halo. Surrounding this were hundreds of Indians in various sexual positions.
Furious, he called the artist in. "What the hell is this?" screamed the billionaire.
"Why that's exactly what you asked for," said the artist smugly.
"No! I didn't ask for a mural of pornographic filth. I asked for an interpretation of Custer's last thoughts!"
"And there you have it," said the artist. "I call more...
There once was a service man who toured the Middle East and married a beautiful little China doll.He brought her back to the States and they were very happy.He always enjoyed looking at her rear end and telling her what a beautiful butt she had. Every day it was, "Darling I love you and what a beautiful butt you have." Every night it was, "Darling I love you and what a beautiful butt you have."Well his birthday was getting close and she wanted to surprise him with a tattoo on her rear end that said, "Beautiful Butt."So she finds a reputable tattoo artist and explains what she wants. Well the artist asks her to turn around and after a brief pause says, "There is no way I can get "Beautiful Butt" on your tiny little beautiful butt." But I can put a nice "B" on each cheek which will stand for "Beautiful Butt."A bit disappointed, she agrees and leaves with her B's. Well the big day arrives and after a candle light more...
Titanic vs. Slick Willy's Deposition Video
From the Philadelphia Daily News, September 28, 1998
TITANIC CLINTON VIDEO
=============================================================
$9.99 on Internet Same
Over 3 hours long Same
The Story of Jack and Rose, The Story of Bill and Monica,
their forbidden love, and their forbidden love, and
a subsequent catastrophe a subsequent catastrophe
Their Song: Celine Dion Their Song: Sarah
''My Heart Will Go On'' Maclaughlin' 'No. 5''
Villain: White Star Line Villain: Ken Starr
Jack is a starving Artist Bill is a BS artist
In one part, Jack enjoys Ditto for Bill.
a Good Cigar.
During the ordeal, Rose's Ditto for
dress gets ruined Monica's
Jack Teaches Rose to Spit Let's not EVEN go there!
Rose gets to keep her jewelry Monica forced to return gifts
Behind the scenes: Behind the more...