Askes Jokes / Recent Jokes

There are three women, one is a blonde one is a brunet and one is a red head. They are all on execution.The guard brings the brunet up to the executioner. He askes do you have any last words? She says No.Then the executioner shouts ready...aim... EARTHQUAKE! screams the brunet, everyone looks around and she ecscapes. Then the angry guard gets the red head. The executioner askes her the same thing.She says No then the executioner yells ready...aim...and then the red head shouts TORNADO! Everyone looks around and she escapes too. By then the blonde understands why the two other women were screaming. Then the executioner asks the same question and she also says No then he yells ready...aim...and the blonde yells FIRE!

Two Back Tires-
One day two families were at a nude beach the youngest boy and the youngest girl meet in the woods.
The boy askes the little girl "Whats that?" the little girl says "I don't know i'll go ask my mom."
so she goes and askes her mom and her mom says "thats your garage don't let anybody park there car in there."
so the litle girl goes back and tells the boy and she askes him "whats that?" the little boy says "I don't know i'll go ask my dad"
His dad says "Thats your car you can park it in any garage you want." so the little boy goes back and tells the girl.
Fifteen mins. later the girl comes up to her mom with blood on her hands her mom says "what happen?" the little girl looks at her and says
"Some boy tried to park his car in my garage so i tore off his TWO BACK TIRES."

a duck walks into a bar, the bartender askes him his name, well im huey, what have you been doing all day replys the bartender, ive peen in and out of puddles all day liven the life of a duck,
momenst later another duck walks in, hi wats your name askes the bar tender, im duey, once again the bartender askes what have you been doing all day, ive been in and out of puddles all day living the life of a duck
and again another duck walks in and the bartender askes you must be luey?
"no im puddles" the duck replys

A BLOND WALKES INTO A BAR AND ASKED FOR A SADA CLUB
THE BARTENDER ASKES DONT YOU MEAN A CLUB SODA?
AND THE BLOND SAYS NO I WANT A SODA CLUB TO HIT THAT MAN OVER THERE
SO THE BARTENDER ASKES WHY?
AND THE BLOND SAYS HE OWES ME 5,000.00 DOLLERS
AND THE BARTENDER AGAIN ASKS WHY?
SO THE BLOND SAYS THAY WERE PLAYING HID AN GO SEEK AND HE DIDENT FIND HER AND THE BET WAS IF HE DIDENT FINED ME I WOULD GIT THE MONNEY.

a guy goes to the doctor and says "
doc i have the weirdest problem. my um penis has turned orange.
"
ok may i take a look at the problem"
says the doctor
the guy pulles down his pants and showes him. and sure enough his entire dick is bright orange.
well says the doctor, do you know how you might have got this? not a clue replies the man. how long have you had this askes the doctor. about two weeks says the man.
have you changed your scedual or habits in any way in the past two weeks askes the doctor. well i got a new job about two tuesdays ago.
whats your job, if you dont mind me asking askes the doctor. its pretty simple says the man i just sit in a theater and watch porno and eat cheatos.