Assistant Jokes / Recent Jokes
A customer walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for an anal deodorant. The assistant explains that they don't stock them. The man insists that he bought his last one from this store. The assistant passes the man on to the pharmacist, who explains that the store has never stocked such an item. The man explains that he bought his last one from this store only weeks ago and has done so for several years. The pharmacist asks the man to bring in his last purchase and he will try to match the product.
The following day, the man returns to the pharmacy and shows the deodorant to the pharmacist. The pharmacist asks why the customer thinks this is an anal deodorant, when it is obviously of the underarm stick variety.
The customer explains that instructions on reverse state, "Push up bottom to use."
A man goes to the doctor complaining of terrible headaches. The doctor examines him and says "I can see your problem, your balls are pushing against your spine, hence the headaches". The man feels releived the problem is so simple, until the doctor tells him that the only cure his to have his balls chopped off. Reluctantly he agrees, and a few weeks later comes out of hospital feeling very depressed. To cheer himself up he decides to buy himself some new clothes. As he walks into the shop the assistant asks him if he would like some new shoes. The man replies yes and without asking the assistant brings the man the correct size pair off shoes. The man is perplexed by this so the shopkeeper explains that he can gauge his shoe size by experience alone. The assistant then asks the man if he would like a new shirt, and once again brings him a shirt with the right collar size without asking. Amazed; the man is asked if he would like some new underwear, the shop assistant brings more...
Very Short Lists:
1) List of Golf Courses that do not allow Doctors
2) List of all night Gay women's bars in Iran
3) List of DR's who do gratis Brain Surgery
4) List of Hospitals with Drive-Thru window Service
5) List of Home cures for Ebola Virus
6) List of Homeless Boston Debutantes
7) List of Catholic Abortion referral services
8) List of Women Rabbi's and assistant's
9) List of Women Popes, Cardinals & Bishops
10) List of Men's Rape assistant groups
11) List of Battered Men's Help Groups
12) List of Cuban registered voters
13) List of Libyan registered women voters
14) List of Libyan Licensed women truck drivers
15) List of Libyan women lawyers
16) List of Libyan women with PHD's
17) List of Libyan Women Service Clubs
18) List of interstate Highways with no Numbers
19) List of U.S. Cops who have never eaten a doughnut
20) List of People who have survived going over Niagara Falls
21) List of People more...
A mother narrates a dialogue between Zia-ul-Haq, former military ruler of Pakistan who declared himself the President, and his assistant in a plane. Said Zia,' If I throw a 100 rupee note, it v/>uld make at least the one Pakistani who found it happy again.'
'Ten 10 rupee notes would be a better idea,' replied his assistant.' They would make ten Pakistanis happy.'
The pilot who overheard the conversation butted
in, ' If I threw both of you out it would make
15 crore Pakistanis happy.'
Very Short Lists:1) List of Golf Courses that do not allow Doctors2) List of all night Gay women's bars in Iran3) List of DR's who do gratis Brain Surgery4) List of Hospitals with Drive-Thru window Service5) List of Home cures for Ebola Virus6) List of Homeless Boston Debutantes7) List of Catholic Abortion referral services8) List of Women Rabbi's and assistant's9) List of Women Popes, Cardinals & Bishops10) List of Men's Rape assistant groups11) List of Battered Men's Help Groups12) List of Cuban registered voters13) List of Libyan registered women voters14) List of Libyan Licensed women truck drivers15) List of Libyan women lawyers16) List of Libyan women with PHD's17) List of Libyan Women Service Clubs18) List of interstate Highways with no Numbers19) List of U.S. Cops who have never eaten a doughnut20) List of People who have survived going over Niagara Falls21) List of People who have been in a UFO and are not crazy22) List of People who can whistle while drinking beer23) List of more...
Outside a pharmacy in a busy street, a poor man is clutching onto a pole for dear life - not breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle - just standing there, frozen. The pharmacist, seeing this strange sight in front of his shop, goes up to his assistant and asks, "What's the matter with that guy? Wasn't he in here earlier?" Assistant replies, "Yes he was. He had the most terrible cough and none of my prescriptions seemed to help." Pharmacist says, "He seems to be fine now." Assistant replies, "Sure, he is. I gave him a box of the strongest laxatives on the market... Now he won't dare cough!"
SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT!
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by university physicists. The element, tentatively named "Administratium", had no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 15 assistant neutrons, 70 vice neutrons, and 161 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 247. These 247 particles are held together in the nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.
Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium added to one reaction caused it to take over four days to complete. Without the Administratium, the reaction occurred in less than one second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually more...