Awhile Jokes / Recent Jokes

The beautiful secretary of the president of the Chase Manhattan Bank
goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich Taiwanese client. The client
out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken
aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her; "Don't reject the
guy outright."
So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting
to marry her. So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will
only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to
be a 75 carat diamond ring, with a matching 200 carat diamond tiara." The
Taiwanese man pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says "No
problem! I buy. I buy."
Realizing that her first condition was too easy, the woman says to the
man, "I want you to build me a 100 room mansion in New York. And as a
vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine more...

(This one was on the radio this morning. I didn't hear who
the originator was, so I can't give credit where it's due.)
So this guy wants to have a luau.
He needs a pig for a luau, so he goes to a pig farm.
He asks the farmer for a twenty-pound pig.
The farmer goes into the pen, searches around awhile.
He picks up a pig, puts the tail in his mouth, and begins
swinging the pig around for a few seconds.
He puts the pig down, and says, "Nope, not quite twenty pounds."
He picks up another, puts the tail in his mouth, swings
the pig around awhile, and declares, "This one's twenty pounds!"
He brings the pig out, and the man says in a shocked tone,
"You can't weigh a pig like that!"
"Sure I can," said the farmer, "Watch this."
He called his son over and asked him to weigh the pig.
The boy came over, picked up the pig, put its tail in his mouth,
and swung it around more...