Bagels Jokes

JIM BARLOW - Houston Chronicle (c) - Writes:
Really, no foolin', this stuff is weird.
Since this is April Fools' Day, what better time for yet another installment of Weird Business News?
Yep, time for another look at the sometimes wacky world of commerce.
ABC Namebank, a New York City firm that helps businesses come up with suitably salable company names, took a look at popular nomenclature for firms on the World Wide Web.
The No. 1 Internet company name included the word "web." There were 8,783 names such as Webtron, USWeb and Webtech. Next came "link" - 7,901 examples such as Linknet and Worldlink.
Other popular key naming words include: first, 5,384; net, 4,426; data, 3,335; view, 2,815 and media, 1,254.
So obviously my new Internet business will be named Firstview Datalink Mediaweb.
Our Worst Food Idea Award goes to Einstein Brothers Bagels, which for St. Patrick's Day sold green bagels at its 225 stores. Here's my green bagel. more...

A German comes to London and stays with Maurice and his family. The first morning they all have breakfast together and have bagels. The German exclaims "Wow we don't have bagels like this in Germany." To which Maurice stands up and yells "And who's fault is that?"

Q: TWO BAGELS WERE WALKING DOWN THE STREET. WHAT HAPPENED TO ONE OF THE BAGELS?
A: ONE WAS ASSAULTED.

Weird Business NewsJIM BARLOW - Houston Chronicle (c) - Writes:
Really, no foolin', this stuff is weird.
Since this is April Fools' Day, what better time for yet another installment of Weird Business News?
Yep, time for another look at the sometimes wacky world of commerce. ABC Namebank, a New York City firm that helps businesses come up with suitably salable company names, took a look at popular nomenclature for firms on the World Wide Web.
The No. 1 Internet company name included the word "web." There were 8, 783 names such as Webtron, USWeb and Webtech. Next came "link" - 7, 901 examples such as Linknet and Worldlink.
Other popular key naming words include: first, 5, 384; net, 4, 426; data, 3, 335; view, 2, 815 and media, 1, 254.
So obviously my new Internet business will be named Firstview Datalink Mediaweb.
Our Worst Food Idea Award goes to Einstein Brothers Bagels, which for St. Patrick's Day sold green bagels at its 225 more...

Just read in this morning's UPI newswires (Aug 18 1993) that Judge Walter Colbath has ordered Jerry Ericksonto quit eating poppyseed bagels or he'll go to prison!
It seems Jerry is on probation for kidnapping and robbery, and one day he showed up for his probation meeting and tested positive for morphine... even though he swore he never touched the stuff! His doctor concluded the drug test may have picked up small traces of morphine from his breakfast that day - a poppyseed bagel!
So Palm Beach County Circuit Judge Walter Colbath on Tuesday allowed Jerry to remain on probation rather than to return to prison because the correction officials could not prove that he'd used illegal drugs, but he ofered him to stop eating poppyseed bagels as a condition of parole.
Said Jerry's attorney, Dean Wilbur, regarding his job as a criminal defense lawyer, "It continues to get weirder and weirder, the longer I do this!"
So, just remember to say NO to bagels!