Baking Jokes / Recent Jokes
Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Women - Leftover wine? Hello! Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who the hell cares! Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on your ass on the couch, with your feet up anyway.Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry about the potatoes growing arms and legs.Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white powdery mess on more...
A girl and her mom were walking down the street when they saw two dogs having sex.
The little girl asked, "Mommy, what are they doing?" The mother replied, "Baking a cake."
Then, they saw two birds and two cats doing it and the girl asked, "Mommy, what are they doing?" The mother again replied, "Baking a cake."
The next day, the girl went up to her mother and said, "You and Daddy baked a cake on the couch last night, huh? The mother replied, "That's right, sweetheart. How did you know?"
"Because after you guys were done, I licked the icing off of the couch!!" replied the girl.
One day a little girl was watching cartoons when a porno came through. The little girl asked her mom "What are they doing?" The girls mom said "baking a cake."
Then the next day they were walking in the park and there were these people making out and the girl said "look mommy they are baking a cake!"
The next day the girl says "mommy you and daddy were baking a cake last night."
Her mom replied "how did you know?" The girl said "because I licked the icing off the sofa!"
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Editor's note: Hey, I just post them...
MAN DIES IN FREAK ACCIDENT CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. (Nov. 13) --
A 39-year-old Charlottesville Man died Thursday in a freak accident involving his washing machine.
According to police reports, Samuel Randolph Strickson was doing laundry when he tried to speed up the process. Strickson apparently tried to stuff approximately 50 pounds of laundry into his washing machine by climbing on top of the washer and attempting to force the clothing into the basin. Strickson then apparently accidentally kicked the washing machine's ON button. When the machine turned on, Strickson lost his balance and both feet went down into the machine, where they got stuck.
The machine started its cycle, and Strickson, unable to free himself, started thrashing around as the machine's agitator went into gear. Strickson's head banged against a nearby shelf in the laundry room, knocking over a bottle of bleach, which poured over Strickson's face, blinding him.
Forensic reports say more...