Baltimore Jokes

Izzard went into a Baltimore bank to cash his check. Since he didnt have an account there, the teller asked if he could identify himself. "Sure," said Izzard. "There a mirror around here?" "Theres one on the wall right beside you," said the clerk. Izzard took a glance in the mirror and heaved a sigh of relief. "Yep!" he said. "Its me, all right!"

This reminds me of something yesterday at work. A colleague was relating a conversation he had with his young daughter, just a bit over 2 years old. They were discussing geography and...
"Where does mommy live?"
"Minneapolis."
"Where does grandma live?"
"Baltimore."
"Where does grandpa live?"
"Baltimore."
"And where does daddy live?"
"At work!"
Needless to say, he took the next day off!

...This reminds me of something yesterday at work. A colleague was relating a conversation he had with his young daughter, just a bit over 2 years old. They were discussing geography and..."Where does mommy live?""Minneapolis.""Where does grandma live?""Baltimore.""Where does grandpa live?""Baltimore.""And where does daddy live?""At work!"Needless to say, he took the morning off that next day...

Half the people in Baltimore dream of having their own house. The other half dream about breaking into them.
Amazing city Baltimore. Where else can ya bet on a horse race like the Preakness with your welfare check?
Most of the natives in Baltimore aren't very friendly. In fact, if it weren't for muggings, there'd be almost no personal contact.
Baltimore still has a Zoo where a lot of the animals are still behind bars. Of course, that's for their own safety & protection.
There's a snazzy new restaurant in the Inner Harbor that specializes in seafood. The prices are so outrageous though, that when you find a pearl in your oyster, you just about break even.
Chivalry isn't dead yet though. A lady, her arms loaded with a lot of packages, boarded a bus and although no one offered her a seat, one fellow whispered to her, "Be alert now, I get off at the stop after next."
In Baltimore, there are people from all walks of life - most run however.
Baltimore more...

... This reminds me of something yesterday at work. A colleague was relating a conversation he had with his young daughter, just a bit over 2 years old. They were discussing geography and...

"Where does mommy live?"

"Minneapolis."

"Where does grandma live?"

"Baltimore."

"Where does grandpa live?"

"Baltimore."

"And where does daddy live?"

"At work!"

Needless to say, he took the morning off that next day...