Banana Jokes / Recent Jokes

How do you catch King Kong? Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.

A group of black men approach and say: can u tell me how to get to the trainstation please?
I say: certainly monkey face. U go past the cotton picking chimp, down past the crack house, round the burny cross, past the job centre, and its opposie the banana tree.
As I lay in hospital I'm thinking to my self thats the last time eat them fucking rowntrees randoms.

Customer: How much is that banana for?

Salesperson: $1. 00

Customer: Can you sell it to me for 60 cents?

Salesperson: At that rate, you will only get the banana peel!

Customer: Okay I will buy the banana for 40 cents, but you can keep the peel!

Tom: What did the banana say to the elephant? Nick: I don't know. Tom: Nothing. Bananas can't talk.

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream
parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
"No," he replied, "Arthritis."

Mandy: Our teacher went on a special banana diet. Andy: Did she lose weight? Mandy: No, but she sure could climb trees well!

Theyre not going to grow bananas any longer. Really? Why not? Because theyre long enough already.