Banana Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two blondes were riding a train for the first time. They had brought along a bag of bananas for lunch. Just as one bit into her banana, the train entered a tunnel under a mountain.
In the darkness was overheard, "Did you take a bite of your banana?"
"No."
"Well, don't. I did and I just went blind."
Start with a cage containing five monkeys. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the monkeys with cold water. After awhile, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result. Pretty soon, when any monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, turn off the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted. Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm. Again, replace a third original monkey with a more...
This man had a banana in his ear and a hamster stuck up his nose..
so he went to the doctor and he said
"doctor doctor whats wrong with me!?!?!?"
and the doctor says
" well son it appears that you have a banana in your ear and a hamster stuck up your nose !"
Two Polish guys were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they'd never seen before. Each bought one.
The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said, "I wouldn't eat that if I were you."
"Why not?"
"I took one bite and went blind for half a minute."
Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock,
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange, who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?
Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?? A: Why the hell are you shaking? Shes gonna eat me!
How can you tell the difference between a monster and a banana? Try picking it up. If you cant, its either a monster or a giant banana.