Bats Jokes / Recent Jokes

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the ceiling of the cave to get some sleep.Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.He told them to bug off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in."OK, follow me," he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest of trees.Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him."Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked."YES, YES, YES!!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy."Good!" said the first bat, "Because I fucking didn't!"

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in."OK, follow me" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him. "Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked. "Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy. "Good" said the bat, "Because I sure as hell didn't!"

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelt the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.
He told them to piss off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in.
"OK, follow me," he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.
Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest of trees.
Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.
"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.
"YES, YES, YES!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Good!" said the first bat, "Because I sure didn't!"

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, covered in fresh blood, and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.
Before long, the other bats smelled the blood and started to hassle him about where he got it.
He begged them to knock it off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in.
"Fine, follow me," he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats following behind him. They flew through a valley, across a river and into a forest full of trees. Finally he slowed down and the other bats excitedly milled around him.
"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.
"Yes, yes, yes!" all the other bats screamed in a frenzy.
"Well good," replied the bloodied bat, "because I DIDN'T!"

Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood.
One says, "Let's fly out of the cave and get some blood."
"We're new here," says the second one. "It's dark out, and we don't know where to look. We'd better wait until the other bats go with us."
The first bat replies, "Who needs them? I can find some blood somewhere." He flies out of the cave. When he returns, he is covered with blood.
The second bat says excitedly, "Where did you get the blood?"
The first bat takes his buddy to the mouth of the cave. Pointing into the night, he asks, "See that black building over there?"
"Yes," the other bat answers.
"Well," says the first bat, "I didn't."

Two priests are having lunch in a restaurant when one of them says, "Since last summer I've been having a serious problem with flying bats in the loft and attic at the church. I've tried everything to scare them off, but nothing seems to work."
The second priest replies, "I baptized all mine, made them members of the church and haven't seen one since."