Batteries Jokes / Recent Jokes
Yo Momma is so stupid she shuved batteries up her but and said I got the power
How do you stop your laptop batteries from running out?
Hide their trainers.
Q: What's the difference between men and batteries?
A: Batteries have a positive side.
A woman goes to the store to buy batteries for her vibrator. She
walks up to the clerk and asks where she can find them. The clerk
beckons with his finger and says "come this way"...
The woman replies: "If I could cum that way... I wouldn't need the
batteries!!"
Dear Dr. RAM
I have a computer with a Pentium 133 CPU. I want to increase the speed, but I have no money to spend on an upgrade. What do you advise?
- Speed Fiend
Dear Speed,
Ask you doctor to prescribe you something to slow down your metabolism. Take the medicine and wait for a couple of hours. Then switch your computer on and you will notice a dramatic increase in speed and overall performances.
Dear Dr. RAM,
I bought a $ 5,000 notebook, with batteries guaranteed to last for six hours. They did actually last for about that long, after which the computer went dead. What shall I do? Shall I try and change the batteries?
- Out Of Power
Dear Out,
From your description, I believe that you bought a disposable notebook and therefore there is nothing you can do. However, you are in luck: I happen to collect disposable notebooks, even if they have no use whatsoever. Send me your machine and I shall mail you $50, so you will not suffer a total loss. No, more...
Warning: There's a new virus on the loose that's worse than anything I've seen before! It gets in through the power line, riding on the powerline 60 Hz subcarrier. It works by changing the serial port pinouts, and by reversing the direction one's disks spin. Over 300,000 systems have been hit by it here in Murphy, West Dakota alone! And that's just in the last 12 minutes.
It attacks DOS, Unix, TOPS-20, Apple-II, VMS, MVS, Multics, Mac, RSX-11, ITS, TRS-80, and VHS systems.
To prevent the spresd of the worm:
Don't use the powerline.
Don't use batteries either, since there are rumors that this virus has invaded most major battery plants and is infecting the positive poles of the batteries. (You might try hooking up just the negative pole.)
Don't upload or download files.
Don't store files on floppy disks or hard disks.
Do NOT read messages! Not even this one!
Don't use serial ports, modems, or phone lines.
Don't use keyboards, screens, or more...