Bell Jokes / Recent Jokes
Three men were traveling around the country. They stopped by in this one town and asked to spend the night at a hotel. The hotel manager charged them 27 dollars for a room that had three beds in it. So that means that each man payed 9 dollars. After they went to the room, the maneger thought he had charged them too much for the room so he decided that the room would cost 22 dollars. He called the bell boy over and gave him five one dollar bills, telling him to give it to the three men. On his way up to the room, the bell hoy realized that he wouldn't be able to split the money between the three men equally, so he stuffed two of the dollar bills into his own pocket. Now, if you're following me that means that each man payed 8 dollars for the room(becasue they got a dollar back). 8 x 3 is 24. The bell boy has two dollar bills in his own pocket(so you add 2 right!!!). That equals 26. What happened to the other dollar?
Answer: It cost 22 dollars for the room. but they got back 5 more...
With the hunchback still dead, and his no-armed replacement still dead, the church leader still needs a bell ringer. He posts a sign outside the church and another no-armed man shows up to take the job. The frustrated church leader says, "The last no-armed guy died trying to ring this bell, what makes you think you can do it?" The no-armed man says, "I've been without my arms since birth and therefore have much more experience. Besides, I desperately need the job to feed my family." The church leader, feeling sorry for the man, says, "OK give it a try." And, as expected, the no-armed man tries to pull the rope with his teeth, stumbles and falls to his death. The church leader rushes down to the sidewalk just as a policeman arrives. The policeman says, "OK, this is two deaths in two days. Does anybody know who this guy is?" The church leader says, "I'm sorry, I didn't ask, but he's a dead ringer for the guy who was in here yesterday!"
A PEASANT cycling along the road ran over a pedestrian. The pedestrian protested "Kam say kam, ghanttee to maar dettey-you could have at least rung your bell."
The peasant replied-ghanti kya? manney to cycle ka cycle maardaala-what of the bell, I knocked the entire bicycle."
Walking down the street, a man passes a house and notices a little boy trying to reach the doorbell. No matter how much the little guy stretches, he can't make it.
The man calls out, "Let me get that for you," and he bounds onto the porch to ring the bell.
"Thanks, mister," says the kid. "Now let's run!"
Walking down the street, a man passes a house and notices a little boy trying to reach the doorbell. No matter how much the little guy stretches, he can't make it.The man calls out, "Let me get that for you," and he bounds onto the porch to ring the bell."Thanks, mister," says the kid. "Now let's run!"
BORDERLINE PERSONALITY - Thoughts of Roasting in an Open Fire.
DEMENTIA - I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas.
MANIA - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town... or Deck the Halls and Spare No Expense!
MULTIPLE PERSONALITY - We Three Kings Disoriented Are.
NARCISSISTIC - Hark The Herald Angels Sing (About Me).
OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE - Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell...
PARANOIA - Santa Claus is Coming To Get Me.
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE - On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away).
PERSONALITY DISORDER - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, then MAYBE I'll tell you why.
SCHIZOPHRENIA - Do You Hear What I Hear?