Between Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q. What do you call 15 blonde's in a circle?
A. A dope ring.
Q. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?
A1. The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.
A2. None of them. There is no such thing as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy or a smart blonde and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper.
Q. If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A. The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.
Q. What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer's disease?
A. Her IQ goes up!
Q. What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde?
A. A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.
Q. What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
A. Chances are they'll both end up in the gutter.
Q. What did the blonde's mom say to her before the more...
Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.
Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."
Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.
"How long will this take?", she asks.
"They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies.
The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?"
"Worked for your butt, didn't it?", he replied...
He lived, and with a great deal of therapy may even walk again....
What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
Because all those men already have boyfriends.
What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
$3. 99 a minute.
What is the definition of “making love”?
Something a woman does while a guy is screwing her.
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he’s God’s gift?
Exchange him.
Why do bachelors like smart women?
Opposites attract.
Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
They don’t have enough time.
What’s the difference between a husband and a boyfriend?
About forty-five minutes.
How many men does it take to shingle a roof?
It depends on how thin you slice them.
Why did God create men?
Because a vibrator can’t mow the lawn.
What do you do if more...
What is the difference between a horse and a duck? One goes quick and the other goes quack!
Q: What is the definition of an accountant?
A: Someone who solves a problem, you didn`t know you had, in a way you don`t understand.
Q: What does an accountant do for birth control?
A. He talks about his business.
Q: What is an extroverted accountant?
A: One who looks at your shoes while he`s talking to you instead of his own.
Q: What is an insolvency practitioner?
A: Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
There are just three types of accountants:
Those who can count and those who can`t.
Q: Why did the auditor cross the road?
A: Because he looked in the file and that`s what they did last year.
Q: How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way.
Q: What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don`t?
A: Depreciation.
Q: What is the difference more...
Whats the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
What's the difference between an epileptic oyster fisherman, and a hooker with diahrrea? Well, one shucks between fits.
What's the difference between a nun and a fat lady? One's tryin to diet, and the other's dyin to try it...