Biker Jokes / Recent Jokes

A highly timid little man, Casper Milquetoast, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?"
A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, "It's my dog. Why?"
"Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, "I believe my dog just killed it, sir."
"What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What in the hell kind of dog do you have?"
"Sir," answered the little man, "It's a four week old puppy."
"Bull!" roared the biker, "How could your puppy kill my Doberman?"
"It appears that he choked on it, sir."

A biker dies and wakes up in heaven. Upon looking back on his life he realises he shouldn't be here so he says to himself I should ask God why I'm here.
When he asks him, God said, "There is no Hell. This is the only place you can go."
So the biker looks around and notices
a group of people outside of the pearly gates, kicking themselves in the ass, and he said "What about them?"
God says "They didn't know this was the only place you could go either, so they were good their whole lives."

A biker walks into a yuppie bar and shouts, "All lawyers are assholes!" He looks around, obviously hoping for a challenge. Finally a guy comes up to him, taps him on the shoulder, and says, "Take that back." The biker says, "Why? Are you a lawyer?" "No, I'm an asshole."

A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."
God said, "It is disappointing that your request is so blatantly selfish and materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific... The concrete and steel it would take... It will nearly exhaust several of the planet's natural resources. I can do it, of course, but it is hard for me to justify using so many of Earth's much-needed resources for such a task. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "God, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how more...

A cowboy and a biker are on death row, and are to be executed on the same day. The day comes, and they are brought to the gas chamber. The warden asks the cowboy if he has a last request, to which the cowboy replies, "Ah shore do, wardn. Ah'd be mighty grateful if'n yoo'd play' Achy Breaky Heart' fur me bahfore ah hafta go." "Sure enough, cowboy, we can do that," says the warden. He turns to the biker, "And you, biker, what's your last request?" "That you kill me first."

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the pad,
There was nada happenin', now thats pretty bad.
The woodstove was hung up in that stocking routine,
In hopes that the Fat Boy would soon make the scene.
With our stomachs packed with tacos and beer,
My girl and I crashed on the couch for some cheer.
When out in the yard there arose such a racket,
I ran for the door and pulled on my jacket.
I saw a large bro' on a' 56 Pan
Wearin' black leathers, a cap, and boots (cool biker, man).
He hauled up the bars on that bikeful of sacks,
And that Pan hit the roof like it was running on tracks.
I couldn't help gawking, the old guy had class.
But I had to go in -- I was freezing my ass.
Down through the stovepipe he fell with a crash,
And out of the stove he came dragging his stash.
With a smile and some glee he passed out the loot,
A new jacket for her and some parts for my scoot.
He patted her fanny more...

A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says:

'I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!'

The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat.

The drunk leans on the table again and says:' I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!'

The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad, but the biker still says nothing.

The drunk leans on the table one more time and says,' I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!'
At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says....................' more...