Biker Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy just died and he's at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter is leafin' through this Big Book to see if the guy is worthy.
St. Peter goes through the Book several times, furrows his brow and says to the guy, 'You know, I can't see that you ever did anything really bad in your life, but you never did anything really good either. If you can point to even one REALLY GOOD DEED - you're in.'
The guy thinks for a moment and says, 'Yeah, there was this one time when I was driving down the highway and saw a giant group of Biker Gang Rapists assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what was going on and sure enough, there they were, about 50 of 'em ripping the clothes off this terrified young woman.
Infuriated, I got out of my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked up to the leader of the gang, a Huge Guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear. As I walked up to the leader, the Biker Gang more...

A highly timid little man, Casper Milquetoast, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked,' Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?'
A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said,' It's my dog. Why?'
'Well,' squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous,' I believe my dog just killed it, sir.'
'What?' roared the big man in disbelief.' What in the hell kind of dog do you have?'
'Sir,' answered the little man,' It's a four week old puppy.'
'Bull!' roared the biker,' How could your puppy kill my Doberman?'
'It appears that he choked on it, sir.'

A highly timid little man, Casper Milquetoast, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked,' Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?'

A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said,' It's my dog. Why?'

'Well,' squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous,' I believe my dog just killed it, sir.'

'What?' roared the big man in disbelief.' What in the hell kind of dog do you have?'

'Sir,' answered the little man,' It's a four week old puppy.'

'Bull!' roared the biker,' How could your puppy kill my Doberman?'

'It appears that he choked on it, sir.'

Wanting to join a biker club, the old lady knocked on the door of a local club. A very large, bearded biker with tattoos covering his arms answered the door.
"I want to join your club," proclaimed the old lady.
Rather amused, the biker told her she would have to meet certain biker criteria before being permitted to join. "Do you have a bike?" he asked.
"Of course. There's my Harley right over there," she said, pointing to a Harley parked nearby.
"Do you smoke?" he asked.
"Sure do! Four packs of cigarettes a day and a few cigars while I'm playing pool," answered the old lady.
"Ever been picked up by the fuzz," the biker asked.
"No, but I have been swung around by the nipples a few times!" she replied.

A timid little man entered a biker bar, cleared his throat and meekly asked, "Umm, excuse me gentlemen, but would one of you happen to own the Rottweiler tied up outside?"
A giant of a man turned slowly on his stool, looked down on the quivering little man and said, "That's my dog. Why?"
Shaking in his shoes, the little man nervously replied, "I'm sorry, but I believe my dog just killed it."
"What?" roared the biker. "Just what kind of dog do you have?"
"Well, sir," replied the little man, "it's a five-week old puppy."
"Don't be ridiculous!" growled the biker. "How could your little puppy possibly kill my Rottweiler?"
"It seems he choked on it, sir!"

A doctor, lawyer and biker are sitting together in a bar when their conversation turns to what each are getting their wives for Christmas.
The doctor says, "I'm buying my wife an evening gown and a gold bracelet. That way, if she doesn't like the gown, she'll like the bracelet and will still love me."
The lawyer says, "I'm buying my wife a fur coat and a pair of diamond earrings. That way, if she doesn't like the fur coat, she'll like the earrings and will still love me."
The biker says, "I'm buying my wife a t-shirt and a vibrator. That way, if she doesn't like the t-shirt, she can go screw herself!"

A man walks into a bar one day and asks, "Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?"
"Yeah, I do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about it?"
"Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him..."
"What are you talkin' about?!" the biker says, disbelievingly. "How could your little runt kill my rottweiler?"
"Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog's throat!"