Billy Jokes / Recent Jokes
Teacher: "How come you do not comb your hair?"
Billy: "No comb, Sir."
Teacher: "Use your dad's then."
Billy: "No hair, Sir."
The first grade class comes in from recess, and Teacher asks Mary, "What did you do at recess?" Mary says, "I played in the sand box." Teacher says, "That`s good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write `sand` correctly, I`ll give you a fresh-baked cookie." She does, and gets a cookie. Teacher asks Billy what he did at recess. Billy says, "I played with Mary in sand box." Teacher says, "Good. If you write `Box" correctly on blackboard, I`ll give you a fresh baked cookie." Billy does, and gets a cookie. Teacher then asks Bernie Goldberg what he did at recess. He says, "I tried to play with Mary and Billy, but they threw rocks at me." Teacher says, "Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go the blackboard and write `blatant racial discrimination` I`ll give you a cookie."
One day at the end of class little Billy's teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer
to tell a story.
Suzy said, "Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto theroad."
The teacher asks for the moral of the story.
Suzy replies, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."
Next is little Lucy. "Well, my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched."
The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Lucy replies "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched."
Last is little Billy. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war; his plane was shot down over enemy more...
1> Happy Birthday, Blow-Up Wanda!
2> Mean Old Whore
3> She'll Show You for a Quarter
4> Outhouse Over Easy
5> The Surprise Under Junior's Mattress
6> That's Not the Avon Lady, Mrs. Buttafuoco
7> Shaving Grandma's Corns
8> "I'll give you something to cry about!"
9> A Slight Miss at the Bris Stablehand
10> Nude Descending My Torso
11> Sniper at the Mall
12> "Get off my lawn, damn it!"
13> Domestic Partner Marriage License
14> Darius's First L.A.P.D. Beating
15> Rover Leaves a Gift Under the Christmas Tree
16> Billy Gets Tubes In His Ears
17> Billy Gets To 3rd Base
18> Mad Dog!
19> Still Life with Axe: the Artist's Wife and the
20> Whiskers Visits the Bird Shop
21> Detective Fuhrman Finds Some Evidence
22> Building Pipe Bombs With more...
Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. "So, how did you do son?" he asked.
"You'll never believe it!" Billy said. "I was responsible for the winning run!"
"Really? How'd you do that?"
"I dropped the ball."
Poor Billy is dating a rich girl and has no idea what to give her for her birthday, (as she has everything) as he tells of his dilema to his friend, his friend suggests that he tatoo her name on his sex organ. Billy goes to a tattoo parlor and tells the man her name is Wendy.
When finished he looks down and sees. . "W Y" and says "Hey I said her name was Wendy"
Man says "Don't worry shake it."... He does, . . and voila!- Wendy.
He ties a ribbon on it and presents it to his girl... she is so happy that she invites him on a Carribean cruise.
While in port at Jamaica in a disco he goes to the bathroom. While at the urinal a tall Jamaican stands next to him glances down sees "W Y" and says "W Y, huh?"
Billy says oh! its my girlfriend's name, look (shakes it... Wendy)
Jamaican says: "Ah good show man, Wendy, very nice."
Billy looks at the Jamaican and notices his organ also says "W more...
Teacher: Billy why are you late?
Billy: Because the sign said "Children Slow"