Billy Jokes / Recent Jokes

TO MY DARLING HUSBAND,
I am sending you this letter via this email communications thing, so that you will be sure to read it. Please forgive the deception, but I thought you should know what has been going on at home since your computer entered our lives FIVE YEARS AGO.
The children are doing well. Billy is ten now and is a bright, handsome boy. He has developed quite an interest in the arts. He drew a family portrait for a school project, all the figures were good, and the back of your head is very realistic. You should be very proud of him.
Little Jennifer turned six in September. She looks a lot like you did at that age. She is an attractive child and quite smart. She still remembers that you spent the whole afternoon with us on her birthday. What a grand day for Jenny, despite the fact that it was stormy and the electricity was out.
I am doing well. I went blonde about a year ago, and discovered that it really is more fun! George, I mean, Mr. Wilson the more...

Little Johnny to Billy, "You know, Jane Smith cheats!"
"Why do you say that?" asked Billy.
"Well she said she'd show me hers if I showed her mine - but it turns out she hasn't got one!" exclaimed Little Johnny.

Three Bills all die at the exact same moment: Bill Clinton,
Billy Graham, and Bill Gates.
They arrive at the Pearly Gates but since St. Peter is on
vacation they are escorted directly into God's throne room, to
be judged by God Himself.
God asks Bill Clinton what he believes and Clinton replies, "I
believe in equality and justice for all the people of the world."
God says that's a very admirable belief and invites him to sit
to his left.
God then asks Billy Graham what he believes and Graham replies,
"I believe in the salvation promised in the Bible and in the
saving grace of your son, Jesus Christ."
God says that's an even more admirable answer and invites him to
sit to his right.
God then turns to Bill Gates and asks what he believes and Gates
replies, "I believe you're sitting in my chair."

A fire breaks out in Houston, a woman and her baby are trapped on the eleventh floor.

A man steps out from the crowd " I am Billy' Whiteshoes' Johnson -- ten time all star receiver...toss me your baby.. I will catch it!"

So, the woman tosses her baby down. Billy Johnson runs back jumps up and makes a beautiful one handed catch. Does a little dance and then spikes the baby down on the ground as if it were a football!

When Little Johnny got his exam paper back, he saw a big red F staring back at him.
Billy looked at his glum friend and asked, "Why did you get such a low mark on that test?"
"Because of absence," Johnny answered.
"You mean you were absent on the day of the test?" Billy inquired.
Little Johnny replied, "I wasn't, but the kid who sits next to me was."

When Little Johnny got his exam paper back, he saw a big red F staring back at him.
Billy looked at his glum friend and asked, "Why did you get such a low mark on that test?"
"Because of an absence," Johnny answered.
"You mean you were absent on the day of the test?" Billy inquired.
Little Johnny replied, "I wasn't, but the kid who sits next to me was."

The Simpson's invited their new neighbors the Parkers over to dinner. During dinner Mr Simpson asked Mr Parker what he did for a living.
4 year old Billy Parker jumped in and said
" Daddy is a fisherman!"
To which Mrs Parker replied" Billy why do say that? Your daddy is a stock broker not a fisherman."
"No Mom. Everytime we visit dad at work and he hangs up the phone he laughs, rubs his hands together and says I just caught another fish."