Billy Jokes / Recent Jokes

Poor Billy is dating a rich girl and has no idea what to give her for her birthday, (as she has everything) as he tells of his dilema to his friend, his friend suggests that he tatoo her name on his sex organ. Billy goes to a tattoo parlor and tells the man her name is Wendy. When finished he looks down and sees.. "W Y" and says "Hey I said her name was Wendy"Man says "Don't worry shake it.". . . He does,. . and voila!- Wendy. He ties a ribbon on it and presents it to his girl.. . she is so happy that she invites him on a Carribean cruise. While in port at Jamaica in a disco he goes to the bathroom. While at the urinal a tall Jamaican stands next to him glances down sees "W Y" and says "W Y, huh?" Billy says oh! its my girlfriend's name, look (shakes it.. . Wendy)Jamaican says: "Ah good show man, Wendy, very nice." Billy looks at the Jamaican and notices his organ also says "W Y". Billy says: "Hey, wait a more...

A second grade teacher asked her students what their parents did for a living. "Timmy, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"
Timmy stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor.
"That's wonderful," the teacher said, "and how about you, Annie?"
Annie shyly stood up, shuffled her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."
"Thank you, Annie. What about your father, Billy?"
Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."
The teacher, stunned, promptly changed the subject to spelling. Later that day she called Billy's house. Billy's father answered the phone. The teacher explained what his son had said, and asked why he would say such a horrible thing.
Billy's father explained, "I'm actually an attorney. But how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

A teacher said to her student, "Billy, if both of your parents were born in 1967, how old are they now?"
After a few moments, Billy answered, "It depends."
"It depends on what?" she asked.
"It depends on whether you ask my father or my mother."

Two Mississippians, Billy Ray and Tommy Joe, are walking towards each other and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, Billy Rae asks, "Hey Tommy Joe, what'cha got in th' bag?"
"Jus' some chickens," says Tommy Joe.
"If I guesses how many, can I have one?" asks Billy Ray.
"Shoot," says Tommy Joe, "ya guesses right and I'll give you both of 'em."
"Ummmmmmm, five?" says Billy Ray.

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?" Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."

"That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?"

Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman." "Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?" Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."

The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation.

Billy's father said, "I'm actually an attorney. How can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

Billy's Mom's Letters

The following appeared in a computer magazine in Mr. Dvorak's column:

Dear Mr. Dvorak:

Ann Landers wouldn't print this. I have nowhere else to turn. I have to get the word out. Warn other parents. I must be rambling on. Let me try and explain. It's about my son, Billy. He's always been a good, normal ten year old boy. Well, last spring we sat down after dinner to select a summer camp for Billy. We sorted through the camp brochures. There were the usual camps with swimming, canoeing, games, singing by the campfire -- you know. There were sports camps and specialty camps for weight reduction, music, military camps and camps that specialized in Tibetan knot tying. I tried to talk him into Camp Winnepoopoo. It's where he went last year. (He made an adorable picture out of painted pinto beans and macaroni). Billy would have none of it. Billy pulled a brochure out of his pocket. It was for a COMPUTER CAMP! We should have put our foot more...

When the Rev. Billy Graham came to our local community to be the guest preacher for a holiday evening worship service, he arrived to the church in the afternoon. He wanted to check the setting for his performance, meet with the minister, and take care of some personal matters.

He realized that he had an important letter to mail, so he walked out to the portico, and saw a young boy on a bicycle on his way through. He stopped the boy on his bike to ask him directions on how he might get to the local post office.

The boy obliged, giving Billy Graham precise directions to the nearest post office.

Billy Graham then offered the boy two tickets to his appearance for himself and his mother, and to hear Billy Graham address the topic: "How to Get to Heaven" that evening.

The boy refused to accept the tickets by saying, "I am sorry but I can't accept he tickets because, if you can't find your way to the post office, how can you tell me more...