Bloke Jokes / Recent Jokes
This bloke picks up woman at the local pub. They go for a romantic walk down the street. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll his lustful desires rise to a fever pitch.
He is just about to put the hard word on her when she says, "I hope you don't mind but I'm busting to have a piss".
Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity he replies, "OK why don't you go behind these bushes".
She nods in agreement and disappears behind the bushes. As he waits he can hear the sound of nylon knickers rolling down her voluptuous legs and imagines what is being exposed.
Unable to contain himself for another moment, he reaches through a gap in the foliage, his hand touching her leg. He quickly brings his hand further up her thigh until suddenly he finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage hanging between her legs.
He shouts in horror "My God, don't tell me your really a bloke!".
"No" she more...
a bloke finishes work goes to the pub, and asks for a pint. he sees the wall covered in
a bloke finishes work goes to the pub, and asks for a pint. he sees the wall covered in
Two mates are having a chat over a beer." Do you like sheilas with bad body odour and bad breath?" one bloke asks his friend." No way!" his mate replies." Well," says the first bloke,"do you like pussies you could hide a watermelon in?" "Fuck no!" his mate replies." Well," says the first bloke,"what the hell are you doing fuckin' around with my wife?"
A bloke goes into a supermarket and buys: One tin of beans. One bag of crisps. One pack of burgers. One tub of ice-cream. One cake. One yoghurt. One pint of milk. He takes them over to the checkout and the girl looks at what he has bought and asks if he is single. The bloke says sarcastically, "Yes. However did you guess?" The girl replies, "You're an ugly bastard."
A bloke came home and found his missus in bed with three blokes." Hello, hello, hello!" he screamed at them." Aren't you talking to me?" his missus snapped.
A bloke wakes up in the middle of the night and rolls over and shoves an aspirin down his wife's throat. All of a sudden she wakes up and yells, "What the fuck are you doing?" "Just giving you an aspirin for your headache." The bloke answered." But I ain't got a headache," she yelled back." Good then, Lets fuck!" said the bloke.