Blokes Jokes / Recent Jokes

Blokes and golfers need to read this! It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they
were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Bob. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife Debbie. When I took "early retirement" last year, it became necessary for Debbie to get a full-time job along with her part time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf course about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she more...

Two blokes were out walking home from work one afternoon." Shit," said the first bloke, "as soon as I get home, I'm gonna rip thewife's knickers off!""What's the rush?" his mate asked." The bloody elastic in the legs is killing me," the bloke replied.

There were these three blokes sitting on the high cliffs of a lonely beach, with a rope going down into the surf and a Chinaman frantically trying to climb up. While they were sitting there a Priest walks along, looks over and says, "God bless you children, that's Christianity at work. May the lord bless you both," and then kept on walking. One bloke looks at the other, "Who the fuck was that?" "Oh," said the other bloke, "that's Father Johnston. He knows all there is about the bible." The other bloke looked around and quickly says, "Well he knows fuck all about shark fishing."

There were these three blokes sitting on the high cliffs of a lonely beach, with a rope going down into the surf and a Chinaman frantically trying to climb up.While they were sitting there a Priest walks along, looks over and says, "God bless you children, that's Christianity at work. May the lord bless you both," and then kept on walking.One bloke looks at the other, "Who the fuck was that?" "Oh," said the other bloke, "that's Father Johnston. He knows all there is about the bible."The other bloke looked around and quickly says, "Well he knows fuck all about shark fishing."

Two blokes were out walking home from work one afternoon."Shit," said the first bloke, "as soon as I get home, I'm gonna rip thewife's knickers off!""What's the rush?" his mate asked."The bloody elastic in the legs is killing me," the bloke replied.