Blowjob Jokes / Recent Jokes

The guy just takes the girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?".

"What? You're crazy???!!!"

"Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem."

"No!! Someone may see; a relative, a neighbor..."

"At this time of the night no one will show up.."

"I've already said NO, and NO!"

"Honey, it's just a small blowie... I know you like it too.."

"NO!!! I've said NO!!!"

"My love.. don't be like that.."

At this moment the younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown with her hair totally in disorder, rubbing her eyes and says: "Dad says either you have to blow him, I have to blow him, or he will come down and give the guy a blowjob himself, but for God's sake tell more...

A young man takes his girlfriend back to her home after being out together for the evening. When they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, "Honey, how about giving me a blowjob?"
"What! Are you insane?" she says in a whisper.
"Don't worry, it'll be quick," he replies.
"No!" she insists. "Someone may see us."
"At this time of night, no one will see us. Come on, just a small blowjob. I know you'll like it," he pleads.
"No! I said NO!" she snaps.
"Awww, baby, don't be like that," he says.
Suddenly, her younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown, hair a mess, and rubbing her eyes. She glares at them and says, "Dad says either you blow him, I blow him or he'll come downstairs and blow the guy himself, but for God's sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom!"

A guy tells his wife that she has three choices. She can either go hunting with him, give him a blowjob, or he can butt fuck her.
The wive says, "I don't want to go hunting because its cold out, and I've never been butt fucked before, so I think I'll go with the blowjob."
So she's down there doing her thing and suddenly she says, "your dick tastes like shit!"
The guy says, "yeah, the dog didn't want to go hunting either."

A guy tells his wife that she has three choices. She can either go hunting with him, give him a blowjob, or he can butt fuck her.The wive says, "I don't want to go hunting because its cold out, and I've never been butt fucked before, so I think I'll go with the blowjob." So she's down there doing her thing and suddenly she says,"your dick tastes like shit!" The guy says, "yeah, the dog didn't want to go hunting either."

A guy tells his wife that she has three choices. She can either go hunting with him, give him a blowjob, or he can butt fuck her.The wive says, "I don't want to go hunting because its cold out, and I've never been butt fucked before, so I think I'll go with the blowjob."So she's down there doing her thing and suddenly she says, "your dick tastes like shit!"The guy says, "yeah, the dog didn't want to go hunting either."

THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER:
8:15 Wakeup to hugs and kisses.
8:30 Weigh in 5 lbs. lighter than yesterday.
8:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants.
9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil.
10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer.
10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo and comb-out.
12:00 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe.
12:45 Notice ex-boyfriends wife, she has gained 30 pounds.
13:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit.
15:00 Nap.
16:00 3 dozen roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer.
16:15 Light workout at club, followed by gentle massage.
17:30 Pick out outfit for dinner, primp before mirror.
19:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing.
22:00 Hot shower (alone).
22:30 Make love.
23:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.
23:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms.
THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM:
6:00 Alarm.
6:15 more...

Q. What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.