Bombay Jokes / Recent Jokes
Top ten reasons why the movie "Bombay" should be banned in Bombay:
10. The Hero and Heroine fall in love without first having a fight
9. The Hero doesn`t sing "mere pyaari behana" to his sister, neither
does she get raped nor does she get married off to some goon who ill
treats her.
8. The Hero actually asks the Heroine to elope with him instead of
confronting her father and finally winning him over.
7. The Hero`s bachelor friends at work do not get to come home and enjoy a
meal cooked by the newly wed bride, with one of them ogling at her
with evil intentions.
6. Since the Hero and Heroine get married very early in the movie, they
should have known that something was going to go wrong and should have
taken due care.
5. The movie is called "Bombay" but we don`t get to see even one overflowing
electric train. (It is like Ice station Zebra with no Zebras around)
4. Hero/Heroine do more...
A FEW years back Bombayites were up in arms against the deteriorating civic amenities of the metropolis. The dug-up roads, mountains of refuse, open man-holes and unhealthy atmosphere in the civic hospitals caused public anger. The newspapers of Bombay also backed the citizens of Bombay and, day in and day out, articles were written about the utter lack of civic amenities inspite of the huge municipal taxes collected by the Corporation.
In this surcharged atmosphere, the cross road between Bandstand and Hill road was dug up to lay sewer drains of bigger dimensions-a routine matter for the BMC. The engineer-in-charge hit on an idea and instead of putting up that rickety board "CAUTION MEN AT WORK", he displayed a neat blackboard and wrote in bold letters
"Citizen-Your Taxes on Work."
Next morning the engineer found himself oversmarted by some guy who had added one line to the idea: "GOING DOWN THE DRAIN."
One Bengali is a poet.
Two Bengalis is a film society.
Three Bengalis is a political party.
Four Bengalis is two political parties.
One Punjabi is a 100 kg hulk named Pinky.
Two Punjabis is a Pinky with his brother Twinky.
Three Punjabis is an assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local McDonalds.
Four Punjabis is a combined IQ equal to one.
One Bihari is Laloo Prasad Yadav.
Two Biharis is a booth-capturing squad.
Three Biharis is a caste killing.
Four Biharis is the entire literate population of Patna.
One Mallu is a coconut stall.
Two Mallus is a boat race.
Three Mallus is a Gulf job racket.
Four Mallus is an oil slick.
One UP bhaiyya is a milkman.
Two UP bhaiyyas is a halwai shop.
Three UP bhaiyyas is a fist-fight in the UPassembly.
Four UP bhaiyyas is a mosque-destruction squad.
One Gujju is a share-broker in a Bombay train.
Two Gujjus is a rummy game in a Bombay more...
Delhi girls are cultured, they'll show you a good time
Malayali girls seem so innocent, but ya know what's on their mind
Andhra girls are bashful, Bengalis are so cosy
Kashmiri girls keep you warm at night with their cheeks so rosy
Punjabi girls are flirts, Oriya girls are charming
And Tamil girls squeeze you so tight, they really are alarming
But there's one place in this whole land where I'm never lonely
'Cause the cutest girls in all the world are in Bombay only
I wish they all could be Bombay girls!
I wish they all could be Bombay girls!
Girls elsewhere just can't compare to the ghagara of gujarat
Out their way no one can say how many they've broken hearts
Bombay girls have style - how they pucker those pouting lips
Bombay girls got that twinkle in their eye' n' lovely swayinghips
I wish they all could be Bombay girls!
I wish they all could be Bombay girls!
U. P girls are sweet, Rajasthanis true for more...
On an intermediary station on the Bombay route, two mail trains for Bombay and Delhi pulled up. The station being a meal-halt, the trains stopped for a long while; a Sardar, heading to Bombay, got into the wrong train, going to Delhi. In it he confronted another Sardar.
After the initial Sat Sri Akaals, one asks the other the destination and each gives the same. The person on the wrong route, then exclaims "Oh, what progress India has made! Same train, same compartment, same cubicle, one berth goes to Delhi and the other to Bombay!"
10. The Hero and Heroine fall in love without first having a fight
9. The Hero doesn't sing "mere pyaari behana" to his sister, neither does she get raped nor does she get married off to some goon who ill treats her.
8. The Hero actually asks the Heroine to elope with him instead of confronting her father and finally winning him over.
7. The Hero's bachelor friends at work do not get to come home and enjoy a meal cooked by the newly wed bride, with one of them ogling at her with evil intentions.
6. Since the Hero and Heroine get married very early in the movie, they should have known that something was going to go wrong and should have taken due care.
5. The movie is called "Bombay" but we don't get to see even one overflowing electric train. (It is like Ice station Zebra with no Zebras around)
4. Hero/Heroine do not have enough friends or relatives for a final group shot.
3. The Hero's more...
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double- decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top.
After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death.
He says, "Are Banta Singh! What the heck's going' on? Why are you scared? I was enjoying my ride down there? "
Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.* "