Bonds Jokes / Recent Jokes
Women one-liner
1. How many honest intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? Both of them.
2. Why don't women blink during foreplay? They don't have time.
3. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Not one will stop to ask directions.
4. What do men and sperm have in common? They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
5. How does a man show he is planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer.
6. What is the difference between men and government bonds? The bonds eventually mature.
7. Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them.
8. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? We don't know; it has never happened.
9. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? They already have boyfriends.
10. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow.
11. Why are married women heavier than single more...
Women one-liner1. How many honest intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? Both of them.2. Why don't women blink during foreplay? They don't have time.3. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Not one will stop to ask directions.4. What do men and sperm have in common? They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.5. How does a man show he is planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer.6. What is the difference between men and government bonds? The bonds eventually mature.7. Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them.8. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? We don't know; it has never happened.9. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? They already have boyfriends.10. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow.11. Why are married women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what's in the fridge more...
1. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? Both of them.
2. Why did the man cross the road?
He heard the chicken was a slut.
3. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.
4. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They don't stop and ask for directions.
5. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.
6. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
The bonds mature.
7. Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.
8. Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
9. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.
10. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every more...
Men are like government bonds, they take so long to mature.
On Saturday, slugger Barry Bonds hit his 714th home run. Bonds celebrated the amazing feat by hitting his wife 715 times.
Q: What is the difference between government bonds and men?
A:Government bonds mature.
Barry Bonds hit his 715th homer to surpass Babe Ruth on the all-time home run list. In contrast, the guy who almost caught the prized ball, only to lose it to a guy waiting in line for hot dogs, went home and hit his wife and kids 716 times.