Bosses Jokes / Recent Jokes

How to manage them so you can read this site at work.
When told to do something that can't be done... argue a bit, then go play solitaire for awhile. After about 2 or 3 hours, come back and say "I tried... sorry, it can't be done." Usually this will satisfy their insistence on their ideas at least be tried.
Don't provide solutions, just more and more issues and questions.
Do EXACTLY what they tell you. This works well for bosses who have no idea what's going on and only use vague statements. You can't get in trouble for doing what they say...
Make references to the nice weather and how you should would like to be out there golfing. Eventually they will grow tired of hearing you and go play golf.
When your boss comes near you, start to sniffle or cough... and be sure to warn them that you 'might be getting that nasty cold that so and so has had for the last month.' I have found that this quickly sends bosses hiding for cover in their office.
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The job security quiz will help judge how long you'll end up at your current job and what will become of you.
The boss appears at your cubicle and finds you playing DOOM at your desk, you...
A. Swear to take the game off your hard drive forever, but first make a copy for his kid.
B. Inform him that you're planting a virus in the program so that everyone who plays it on company time will get reported to Human Resources.
C. Tell him that whatever he wants will have to wait until you've finished the level.
There's a cush job opening in the mail department, stuffing envelopes with free samples. It pays twice as much as your current position. What do you do?
A. Meekly suggest to your boss that transferring you might improve the morale of everyone who's been working with you.
B. Politely ask your boss for a transfer and offer to split the salary increase 50/50 with him.
C. Barge into your bosses office and demand reassignment so that you, "Won't more...

I've worked for bosses both tuff & easy-going; sane & eccentric (bosses are never "crazy"), but by far the oddest was one who liked to hang mottos on the wall. One infamous sign posted read: "I realize 'all work and no play' will make one a dull person; however here, all play and no work will make one a street person."
Did ya ever notice an interviewer making notes during the process? I saw one actually cross-out one of my answers on the application. Where it said "Sex:" and I had answered, "I do OK". He had the gull to cross my response and put down "crazy man".
Walking by two secretaries one day, I actually heard one say: "It's simply fantastic the amount of work you can get done, if you don't do anything else all day."
Anyone who's ever worked in an office is familiar with the endless collections for this charity or that person. I heard one tired & overworked secretary respond one day to a request for a more...