Boston Jokes / Recent Jokes
As Time Goes By - A Brief History Lesson... 3050 B. C. - A Sumerian invents the wheel. Within the week, the idea is stolen and duplicated by other Sumerians, thereby establishing the business ethic for all times. 525 B. C. - The first Olympics are held, and prove similar to the modern games, except that the Russians don't try to enter a six-footer with a moustache in the women's shot put. 214 B. C. - Tens of thousands of Chinese labor for a generation to build the 1, 500 mile long Great Wall of China. And after all that, it still doesn't keep the neighbor's dog out. 1 B. C. - Calendar manufacturers find themselves in total disagreement over what to call next year. 432 - St. Patrick introduces Christianity to Ireland, thereby giving the natives something interesting to fight about for the rest of their recorded history. 1297- The world's first stock exchange opens, but no one has the foresight to buy IBM or Xerox. 1456 - An English judge reviews Joan of Arc's case and cancels her death more...
During which time he will also be unable to drive in Boston.
What did they do at the Boston Tea Party? I dont know, I wasnt invited!
Interesting Facts
*The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.
* The Boston University Bridge (on Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, Massachusetts) is the only place in the world where a boat can sail under a train driving under a car driving under an airplane.
* Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.
* Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
* David Prowse, was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in Star Wars. He spoke all of Vader's lines, and didn't know that he was going to be dubbed over by James Earl Jones until he saw the screening of the movie.
* Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time.
* In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
* Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33.
* February 1865 is the only month in more...
A fellow from Boston was in Atlanta GA visiting family. One day he decided to take a walk around the area where his relatives lived to enjoy their fine, comfortable Southern way of life - something he was not accustomed to in the northeast.
While he was walking he happened upon a pit bull attacking a small child. His instincts took over, and he ran to the child's aid by grabbing the dog, and choking it to death.
As the dead animal lay at his feet, a man came running over from the other side of the street. He announced that he was the star reporter for Atlanta newspaper, and he would make the rescuer famous: "ATLANTA MAN SAVES CHILD FROM GRUESOME DEATH," to headline on page 1.
The would-be savior explained that it was very nice, but he was from Boston, not Atlanta. The next day he read the headline: "YANKEE BASTARD KILLS FAMILY PET."
Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches. Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked. An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public. It is illegal to put tomatoes in clam chowder.It's illegal to take a lion to the movies. Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited.It's illegal to keep a mule on the second floor of a building not in a city unless there are 2 exits. It's illegal to sell fewer than 24 ducklings at a time before May 1, or to sell rabbits, chicks, or ducklings that have been painted a different color. No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car. Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes. Affiliation with the Communist party is illegal.
It is illegal to frighten a pigeon. Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden. There is a Massachusetts law requiring all dogs to have their hind legs tied during the more...
Once, a barber found two MIT students wanting to buy his barber pole. They offered a good price for it, so the barber sold it to them. So - these two guys drove around all day in a pickup truck carrying the barber pole. They kept getting stopped by the police, who were sure they had stolen the pole. But each time, the students referred back to the barber they had bought the pole from. So finally, an APB went out all over Boston, saying that if police saw two students driving around with a barber pole, they should leave them alone.
The next day, every single barber pole in Boston was missing.