Boxing Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man and his wife were watching a boxing match on TV.
"Boy, I'm really disappointed. It was all over in just a few minutes," said the husband.
"Good!" replied his wife. "Now you understand how I feel!"

What do you call 10, 000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.

How can you tell when your lawyer is lying?
His lips move.
What? s the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
A boxing referee doesn? t get paid more for a longer fight.
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to climb the ladder, one to shake the ladder and one to sue the ladder company.
What do you get when you cross a lawyer with The Godfather?
An offer you cannot understand.
Why are lawyers never attacked by sharks?
Professional courtesy.
How many commercial lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
How many can you afford?
Two lawyers were walking along negotiating a case "Look", said one, "let's be honest with each other".
"OK, you first", replied the other.
That was the end of the discussion.
What's the difference between God and a more...

Contrary to popular belief, I think that these are a bundle of random muff-ups from several olympic games made by various Sports commentators.

1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."

5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."

6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

7. At the rowing medal more...

These are actual sports quotes said by various people throughout the world.Oiler coach Bum Phillips: When asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded, "Because she is too ugly to kiss goodbye."New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first." And, upon hearing Joe Jacoby of the 'Skins say "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said, "To win, I'd run over Joe's mom too." Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." and "You guys pair up in more...

What's the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.

Sports Jargon is truly something else! The less you know about a sport, the better it sounds!
1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."
2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."
3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."
5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."
7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the more...

Florida State football coach Bill Peterson: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." He also said, "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
Mike Tyson, about writer Wallace Matthews: "He called me a rapist and a recluse. I'm not a recluse."
Weightlifting commentator Pat Glenn: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing."
Alan Minter: "There have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious."
Football coach Bill Peterson: "Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
Basketball player Jason Kidd: "We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
Soccer coach Ron Greenwood: "I don't hold water with that theory."
Baseball player Pedro Guerrero, on sportswriters: "Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean."
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