Branch Jokes / Recent Jokes
The boy who liked Jell-O
There once was a boy named Joe who loved to eat green Jell-O. On his 18th birthday his cake was made totally out of green Jell-O. His friend Billy Bob told Joe that if he ate the whole cake he would become a super-hero. Joe did this in hopes he could be like the power-puff-girls. When the cake was all gone Joe didn't feel to good. Billy Bob told him if he jumped off a cliff his stomach wouldn't hurt and since he was now a super-hero he could just fly around for a while. Joe thought this was really a sensible idea and wondered why he hadn't thought of it himself.
Joe found a cliff and jumped off. To his surprise he couldn't fly, he flapped his arms and everything else he'd seen birds do, but nothing seemed to work. Now he was terrified and he put his hands into prayer position and began to pray, "Our father who does art in heaven, Howard be your name…." And on it went like that until he came to a thump.
He had landed in a lake, and in more...
This was forwarded to me by a co-worker who had had it forwarded from a
friend, etc...i am not sure who to attribute this to, but i found it rather
humorous
[ Original Message ]
Letter of Recommendation -
While working with Mr. Xxxxxx, I have always found him
working studiously and sincerely at his table without idling or
gossiping with colleagues in the office. He seldom
wastes his time on useless things. Given a job, he always
finishes the given assignment in time. He is always
deeply engrossed in his official work, and can never be
found chitchatting in the canteen. He has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishment and profound
knowledge of his field. I think he can easily be
classed as outstanding, and should on no account be
dispensed with. I strongly feel that Mr. Xxxxxx should be
pushed to accept promotion, and a proposal to administration be
sent away as soon as possible.
Sd/-
Branch more...
There are bats hanging of a branch upside down, all except one. Two bats comment: "What's happened to this one? - I don't know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted.
Chatting with a bull, a turkey sighed and said, "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree, but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, the turkey reached the second branch. Finally, after a week, there he was, proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon, though, the turkey was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey from the tree. Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there!
A pheasant was standing in a field chatting to a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of yonder tree", sighed the pheasant, "but I haven"t got the energy". Well, why don"t you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They"re packed with nutrients". The pheasant pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch and so on. Finally, after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree, whereupon he was spotted by a farmer who dashed into the farmhouse, emerged with a shotgun, and shot the pheasant right out of the tree. Moral of the Story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won"t keep you there.
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Management Lesson:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.