Brandy Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sister Mary Katherine lived in a nunnery, a block away from Jack's liquor store. One day, in walked Sister Mary K. and said, "Oh Jack, give me a pint o'the brandy." Sister Mary Katherine," exclaimed Jack, " I could never do that! I have never sold alcohol to a nun in my life!""Oh Jack, she responded, it's only for the Mother Superior." Her voice dropped, "It helps her constipation, you know." So Jack sold her the brandy. Later that night Jack closed the store and walked home. As he passed the nunnery, who should he see but Sister Mary Katherine? And she was snookered. She was singing and dancing, whirling around and flapping her arms like a bird, right there on the sidewalk. A crowd was gathering. Jack pushed through and exclaimed, "Sister Mary Katherine! For shame! and you told me this was for the Mother Superior's constipation!"Sister Mary Katherine didn't miss a beat as she replied, "And so it is, me lad, so it is... When more...

These two nuns walk into a liquor store one evening just before closing time.
They select a cheap bottle of brandy from the shelf and attempt to check out when the clerk begins hesitating.
"Excuse me sisters", he says shyly, "but I don't normally sell alcoholic beverages to nuns."
It's perfectly okay they reassured the clerk," this is strictly for medicinal purposes."
"Very well" said the clerk, "that will be $6.50"
The nuns thanked him and were on their way.
About twenty minutes later, as the clerk is locking the front door, he notices the two nuns staggering down the street, obviously drunk.
He approaches the two and in a very stern voice says "I am ashamed of you two!
You lied to me and told me that the brandy I sold you was for medicinal purposes only, and just look at you now!"
To this the nuns replied "Don't feel bad kind sir, we did not lie to you .
You see the Mother more...

Sister Mary Katherine lived in a nunnery, a block away from Jack's liquor store. One day, in walked Sister Mary K. and said, "Oh Jack, give me a pint o'the brandy."

Sister Mary Katherine," exclaimed Jack, " I could never do that! I have never sold alcohol to a nun in my life!"

"Oh Jack, she responded, it's only for the Mother Superior." Her voice dropped, "It helps her constipation, you know." So Jack sold her the brandy.

Later that night Jack closed the store and walked home. As he passed the nunnery, who should he see but Sister Mary Katherine? And she was snookered. She was singing and dancing, whirling around and flapping her arms like a bird, right there on the sidewalk. A crowd was gathering.

Jack pushed through and exclaimed, "Sister Mary Katherine! For shame! and you told me this was for the Mother Superior's constipation!"

Sister Mary Katherine didn't miss a beat as more...

One day a nun walks into a liquor store to buy a bottle of brandy. Shocked, the sales person said that he cannot, in good concience, sell brandy to a nun. She said, not to worry, it was for medicinal purposes.
Later, on his way home, the sales person sees the nun lying in the gutter, horribly drunk.Outraged, he said to her he thought it was for medicinal purposes. She said of course it was, Mother Superior has constipation, so if she sees her like this, she will shit herself!

An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Polak were captured by the Germans and thrown into prison. However, the guard was rather kind towards them, and said, "I am going to lock you away for five years, but I'll let you have anything you want now before I lock you away."
The Englishman says, "I'll have five years' supply of beer!" His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his beer.
The Frenchman says, "I'll have five years' supply of brandy!" His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his brandy.
The Polak says, "I'll have five years' supply of cigarettes!" His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his cigarettes.
Five years later, the Germans come to release their prisoners. First, they release the Englishman, who staggers out totally drunk. Then, they release the Frenchman, who also rolls out rather drunk.
Finally, they release the Polak, who comes out and says, "Has anyone got a light?"

An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Polak were captured by the Germans and thrown into prison. However, the guard was rather kind towards them, and said, "I am going to lock you away for five years, but I'll let you have anything you want now before I lock you away."The Englishman says, "I'll have five years' supply of beer!" His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his beer.The Frenchman says, "I'll have five years' supply of brandy!" His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his brandy.The Polak says, "I'll have five years' supply of cigarettes!" His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his cigarettes.Five years later, the Germans come to release their prisoners. First, they release the Englishman, who staggers out totally drunk. Then, they release the Frenchman, who also rolls out rather drunk.Finally, they release the Polak, who comes out and says, "Has anyone got a light?"

A big brown bear came out of the hills and walked into a bar in Boulder, Colorado.
The big brown bear sat down at the bar and said, "Hey bartender, bring me a beer." The bartender replied, "Sorry, buddy, we can't serve big brown bears beer, bourbon, brandy or other bubbly booze at beer bars in Boulder."
The big brown bear noticed that a big buxom blonde broad with big boobs was back behind the bar, so the big brown bear said to the bartender, "Hey bartender, I still want a beer, and if you don't bring me a beer, I'm goin' back behind the bar and I'm goin' to eat that big buxom blonde broad with the big boobs." The bartender replied, "Sorry, buddy, but we still don't serve big brown bears beer, bourbon, brandy or other bubbly booze at beer bars in Boulder."
So, the big brown bear jumped back behind the bar and ate the big buxom blonde broad with the big boobs.
The big brown bear then got back on his chair and said, "Now, more...