Brewery Jokes / Recent Jokes

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.

"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya."

"Of course you can come in. You're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"

"That's what I'm here to be tellin' ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery."

"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me..."

"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."

Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"

"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."

Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"

"Well, no Brenda, no." "No?" "Fact is, he got out three times to pee."

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says "Hey Sen~or, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona."
The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser."
The bartender gives him one. The guy from Coors says "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors."
He gets it. The guy from Guinness sits down and says "Give me a Coke."
The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered. The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?"
The Guinness president replies "Well, if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither will I."

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Se

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery
presidents decided to go out for a beer.
The guy from Corona sits down and says "Hey Senior, I would like the
world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the
shelf and gives it to him.
The guy from Budweiser says "I'd like the best beer in the world, give
me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.
The guy from Coors says "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain
spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.
The guy from Guinness sits down and says "Give me a Coke." The bartender
is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.
The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you
drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies "Well, if you
guys aren't drinking beer, neither will I."

Pat and Mike work at the Guinness Brewery, and one day there's an accident.
Pat calls Mike's wife, Mary, and says: "Sure, and I hate to be tellin ya this, but there's been an accident down at the Guinness."
"Saints Preserve us," says she, "is Mike alright?"
Pat responds, "I'd like to tell ya that, but it'd be a lie!"
"Ya don't mean that me Mike's been hurt?" says Mary.
"Sure, an it's worse than that," says Pat, "he's fallen inta the beer vat and drowned!"
"Oh, well" says Mary, "At least it was quick, ya know he couldn't swim a lick!"
"Oh, I wish I could be tellin ya that," says Pat, "but it's be a lie. He got out three times ta pee!"

Pat and Mike work at the Guinness Brewery, and one day there's an accident.Pat calls Mike's wife, Mary, and says: "Sure, and I hate to be tellin ya this, but there's been an accident down at the Guinness.""Saints Preserve us," says she, "is Mike alright?"Pat responds, "I'd like to tell ya that, but it'd be a lie!""Ya don't mean that me Mike's been hurt?" says Mary."Sure, an it's worse than that," says Pat, "he's fallen inta the beer vat and drowned!""Oh, well" says Mary, "At least it was quick, ya know he couldn't swim a lick!""Oh, I wish I could be tellin ya that," says Pat, "but it's be a lie. He got out three times ta pee!"

After a Beer Festival in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.

Corona's president sits down and says, "Señor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender takes a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

Then Budweiser's president says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me' The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.

Coors' president says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, the only one made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.

The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies, "Well, if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither will I."