Broken Jokes / Recent Jokes

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.

"Ma'am, I'm not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy."

"Oh, I'll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home."

"That's fine. Another thing, ma'am. I don't like the way that one rein loops across the horse's back and around one of his balls. I consider that animal abuse. That's cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!"

Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop. "Well, dear, what exactly did he say?"

"He said the reflector is broken."

"I can fix that in two minutes. What else?"

"I'm not sure, Jacob. .. something about the emergency brake..."

Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, who four months ago won the Super Bowl in just his second NFL season, was seriously hurt in a motorcycle wreck yesterday in which he wasn't wearing a helmet.
Roethlisberger underwent seven hours of surgery after suffering a broken jaw, broken nose and cracking his head open.
Answering reporters' questions from his hospital bed, the football star had this to say:
"Listen, I get paid many millions of dollars to wear a helmet at my day job. Game after handsomely paid game I have to sweat inside that confining, life-saving device. When I'm off the field and on my bike, I want to be free and unencumbered. I want to be able to feel the wind in my hair and, more recently, a windshield against my face. Because that's'my time.' Hey, why are you all twins?"
A visibly exhausted Roethlisberger then kissed a framed bedside photo of Gary Busey and drifted off into a light coma.

One time there was a blonde that ask her mom if she could go to the Downtown pool.Her mom said yes and she came back with a broken arm so she went to the hospital.The next few weeks she asked if she could go to the pool again her mom said yes.She came back with a broken leg.She went to the hospital.This time she asked if she could go back to the pool again because they are putting water in it today.

"How did it happen?" the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set the man's broken leg." Well, doc, 25 years ago...""Never mind the past! Tell me how you broke your leg this morning." "Like I was saying... 25 years ago, when I first started working on thefarm, that night, right after I'd gone to bed, the farmer's beautifuldaughter came into my room. She asked me if there was anything Iwanted. I said, "No, everything is fine." "Are you sure?" she asked." I'm sure," I said." Isn't there anything I can do for you???" she wanted to know." I reckon not," I replied." Excuse me," said the doctor, "What the hell does this story have to dowith your broken leg?!?!?" "Well, this morning," the farmhand explained, "when it dawned on me what she meant, I fell off the roof!"

Julie had broken off her engagement. Her friend asked her what had happened. I thought it was love at first sight, said Julie. It was, but it was the second and third sights that changed my mind.

A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:
Man: What's the problem officer?
Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.
Man: No sir, I was going 65.
Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80.
(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.
Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!
Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks.
(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.
Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.
Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt.
Man: Shut your mouth, woman!
Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way?
Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

A woman announces to herfriend that she is getting married for the fourth time.
"How wonderful! But I hopeyou don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?""He ate poisonous mushrooms and died.""Oh, how tragic! Whatabout your second husband?""He atepoisonous mushrooms, too, and died.""Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband.""He died of a broken neck.""A broken neck?""He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."