Brother-in-law Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two executives working in the garment center are having lunch together. Goldstein says to his friend, "Last week was one of the worst weeks of my entire life." "What happened?" asks Birnbaum. Goldstein moans, "My wife and I went to Florida on vacation. It rained for seven days and seven nights, so my wife went out and spent thousands of dollars on the credit card. I came back to New York and found out that my brother-in-law accountant has been ripping me off for millions. And, to top it all off, when I came in to work on Monday morning, I found my son having sex with the garment model on my desk!""You think you had a bad week?" responds Birnbaum. "My week was even worse! I went to Florida on vacation with my wife and it rained for seven days and seven nights, so my wife went out and spent thousands on the credit card. Then, when I got back to New York, I found out that my brother-in-law accountant has been ripping me off for millions. And, more...

More than anything, my brother-in-law wanted to be a cowpoke.

Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance.

"This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows."

"I see," said my brother-in-law, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat.

"And what do you use for bait?"

A Filipino guy from the Philippines arrived to the United States. He never knew how to speak English at all, none, just straight out Tagalog. His sister's husband, who was American born and did not know how to speak Tagalog, but can understand just a little bit of the language, picked up the Filipino guy from the airport. So they shook hands and introduced themselves to each other. So, they never talked to each other until they both got into the car to go home. So, while going home, the Filipino guy said, "carpentario ako sa Phillipinas," ( I'm a carpenter in the Philippines). His Filipino American born brother-in-law nodding his head, so the Filipino guy said, in Filipino, " Ikaw anong trabajo mo?" ( what do you do for a living). His brother-in-law said, "Poet," the Filipino then took out a handkerchief and began to wipe his brother-in-laws face, with a sad look. Note for the dense: The Filipino guy thought that his brother-in-law was a "PUET" more...

My brother-in-law went to the doctor complaining of a very difficult timeachieving an orgasm. The Dr said "which position do you use?" "Doggy style," said dumb shit." why don't you go home and tonight try it missionary position and see ifthat works any better." said the Dr." We've tryed that" he said, "but my dogs got such baaadddd breath!"

- You're 5'4", can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you.- Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a 76 Monte Carlo.- You share a bathroom with your 5 brothers, have no money, but drive a $45,000 Camaro or Firebird.- Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all blood relatives.- You consider dunking a cannoli in an espresso a nutritious breakfast.- Your 2 best friends are your cousin and your brother-in-law's brother-in-law.- At least 5 of your cousins live on your street.- All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather.- A high school diploma and 1 year of Nassau Community College has earned you the title of "professor" among your aunts.- You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.- If someone in your family grows beyond 5'6", it is presumed his mother had an affair.- There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.- more...

Two executives working in the garment center are having lunch together. Goldstein says to his friend, "Last week was one of the worst weeks of my entire life.""What happened?" asks Birnbaum. Goldstein moans, "My wife and I went to Florida on vacation. It rained for seven days and seven nights, so my wife went out and spent thousands of dollars on the credit card. I came back to New York and found out that my brother-in-law accountant has been ripping me off for millions. And, to top it all off, when I came in to work on Monday morning, I found my son having sex with the garment model on my desk!""You think you had a bad week?" responds Birnbaum. "My week was even worse! I went to Florida on vacation with my wife and it rained for seven days and seven nights, so my wife went out and spent thousands on the credit card. Then, when I got back to New York, I found out that my brother-in-law accountant has been ripping me off for millions. And, more...

Roy Collette and his brother-in-law have been exchanging the same pair of pants as a Christmas present for 11 years - and each time the package gets harder to open. This year the pants came wrapped in a car mashed into a 3-foot cube.
The trousers are in the glove compartment of a 1974 Gremlin. Now Collette's plotting his revenge--if he can get them out.
It all started when Collette received a pair of moleskin trousers from his brother-in-law, Larry Kunkel of Bensenville, Ill. Kunkel's mother had given her son the britches when he was a college student.
He wore them a few times, but they froze stiff in cold weather and he didn't like them. So he gave them to Collette.
Collette, who called the moleskins "miserable", wore them three times, then wrapped them up and gave them back to Kunkel for Christmas the next year.
The friendly exchange continued routinely until Collette twisted the pants tightly, stuffed them into a 3-foot-long, 1-inch wide tube and more...