Bucket Jokes / Recent Jokes

So one day, Gramma sent her grandson Johnny down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it forGrammas kitchen. "Well now, wheres my bucket and wheres my water?" Gramma asked him. "I cant get any water from that water hole, Gramma" exclaimed Johnny. "Theres a BIG ol alligator down there!""Now dont you mind that ol alligator, Johnny. Hes been there for a few years now, and hes never hurt no one. Why, hes probably as scared of you as you are of him!" "Well, Gramma," replied Johnny, "if hes as scared of me as I am of him, then that water aint fit to drink!"

Alligator
One day, Grandma sent her grandson Johnny down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Grandma's kitchen.
"Well now, where's my bucket and where's my water?" Grandma asked him.
"I can't get any water from that water hole, Grandma" exclaimed Johnny. "There's a BIG ol' alligator down there!"
"Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for a few years now, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!"
"Well, Grandma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"

While standing in his field one day a farmer was approached by a little boy who asked, "Hey Mr farmer, I would like to get a bucket of milk from your Bull if you don't mind."

The farmer said, "Wait a minute son, you get milk from a cow not bulls."

"Not where I come from," said the boy. He goes away and comes back later with a bucket of milk.

The boy returns later saying, "Hey Mr farmer, I see you have a Honeysuckle patch at the end of your road, I'd like to get a bucket of honey if you don't mind."

The farmer says, "Wait a minute son, honey comes from bees not honeysuckles."

"Not where I come from", says the little boy. He goes away and returns later with the bucket of honey saying, "Thanks Mr farmer".

The farmer has a shocked look on his face as the little boy walks away. Shortly thereafter the little boy returns saying, "Hey Mr Farmer, I notice more...

A farmer is sitting in the local pub inebriated. A man comes in and asks the farmer, “Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk? ”
Farmer: Some things you just can’t explain.
Man: So what happened that is so horrible?
Farmer: Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I go the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked it over.
Man: That’s not so bad, what’s the big deal?
Farmer: Some things you just can’t explain.
Man: So then what happened.
Farmer: I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left with some rope. Then I sat down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full she took her right leg and kicked it over.
Man: Again?
Farmer: Something’s ya just can’t explain.
Man: So, what did you do then?
Farmer: I took her right leg and tied it to the post on the right.
Man: So then what did you do?
Farmer: I sat back more...

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in
deep water.
How come it takes so little time for a child who is
afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to
stay out all night?
Business conventions are important because they
demonstrate how many people a company can operate
without.
Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than
everyone else looks?
Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
No one has more driving ambition than the boy who
wants to buy a car.
There are no new sins....the old ones just get more
publicity.
There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong
number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.
Think about this..., No one ever says "It's only a
game" when his team is winning.
Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make
him wag his tail.
The nicest thing about the future is that it always
starts tomorrow.
If you don't have a more...

What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken? She kicked the bucket!

There was once a boy with a speech problem who had loved doing chores for his mother. One day his mother had sent him to town with a list of chores to do for her. His mother made sure to call all the stores that her son would go to so that they would know what he would want.
First, the boy set out to the hardware store and asked the clerk for a fuckit
The clerk said, Yes, your mother called you want a bucket!
Then, the boy went to the local bakery and asked the clerk for a bum
The clerk said, That's right your mother called and you want a bun!
Then, the boy set out for his treat. He went to the local pet shop and asked the clerk for a cockand spankit
The clerk said, Oh yeah, your mother called and you want a cocker spaniel!
The boy left the pet shop with the bucket and bun in one hand and the cocker spaniel in the other. The cocker spaniel wiggled until he got loose and ran away.
The boy say an old woman who was walking by and asked her, Can you hold my more...