Bugs Jokes / Recent Jokes
ATTENTION ALL MICROSOFT HATERS - I have sorted through my tagline manager and have found all of theMicrosoft bashing taglines I can possibly find. Please have yourself a laugh at Bill Gates expense: I don't hate Windows - it runs great under OS/2! "Chicago, Windows 4. 0, Windows 95"?!?!?!? "Mr. Worf, blow the Windows-powered Borg ship out of this Universe!" #1 OS/2 tip: Drag the Windows folder to the shreader!!! - Opens new Gates not seen through Windows!. . Bugs come in through open Windows.. . Windows NT Performance", on the next "In Search Of" After seeing Windows I realized Bill Gates is an idiot. Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows. Best way to dispose of the Borg: Give them Windows 3. 1. Bugs come in through Open Windows Chernobyl used Windows Downgrade your system for only 89 dollars! Install Windows! Error 15 - Unable to exit Windows. Try the door. Windows Error #F99 - CPU too tired to continue... Error Loading Windows: (A)bort more...
You are all probably familiar with the lunacy that happens in New York City every spring when the gay group wants to march in the St. Patrick's Day Parade, and the Ancient Order of Hibernians (or the Ancient Order of Hibernators, as we call them) won't let them in.
Having had some experience with elderly Irish relatives, my take on the situation is that it isn't that the group is "gay" that bugs them. Half of them don't even know what gay people are.
It's the fact that they can see that word "homosexual" has the word "sex" in it that bugs them.
“Squawks” are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some squawks submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.
(P)=PROBLEM (S)=SOLUTION
(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire
(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough
(S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft
(P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid
(S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 propellers
lack normal seepage
(P) Something loose in cockpit
(S) Something tightened in cockpit
(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
(S) Evidence removed
(P) DME volume unbelievably loud
(S) Volume set to more believable level
(P) Dead bugs on windshield
(S) Live bugs on order
(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm more...
1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren`t really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn`t work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5. Repeat three times steps 3 and 4.
6. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on overly-optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
7. Users find 137 new bugs.
8. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
9. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
10. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
11. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
12. New CEO is more...
How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?
99 little bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code, Fix one bug, compile it again, 101 little bugs in the code. 101 little bugs in the code, 101 bugs in the code, Fix one bug, compile it again, 103 little bugs in the code.
Little Johnny: Hey dad, are bugs good to eat?
Dad: Son, let's not talk about that at the dinner table, okay?
Little Johnny and his dad were talking after dinner...
Dad: So what did you want to say about bugs?
Little Johnny: Oh, nothing. There was one in your soup, but it's gone now!