Bum Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant
for some bum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell bum deodorant, and never have.
Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would
like some more.
"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any." "But I always get it here," says the blonde. "Do you have the container it comes in?"
"Yes!" said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of
underarm deodorant."
The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container, "To apply, push up bottom."

When this guy heard that the Pope was coming to town, he went out and bought a tuxedo in the hope that the Pope might notice him on the parade route. When he went to the parade, there was this bum standing next to him, with old, dirty clothes on. The the guy's amazement, when the Pope came, he went over to the bum, and whispered something in his ear. Enraged, the guy went over to the bum and offered him $100 for the clothes off his back. Next day, he went back to the parade dressed like a bum. Sure enough, when the Pope came, he stopped in front of this guy, and whispered in his ear, "I thought I told you to get the hell out of here!"

When this guy heard that the Pope was coming to town, he wentout and bought a tuxedo in the hope that the Pope might noticehim on the parade route. When he went to the parade, there wasthis bum standing next to him, with old, dirty clothes on. Thethe guys amazement, when the Pope came, he went over to thebum, and whispered something in his ear. Enraged, the guy wentover to the bum and offered him $100 for the clothes off hisback. Next day, he went back to the parade dressed like a bum. Sure enough, when the Pope came, he stopped in front of thisguy, and whispered in his ear, "I thought I told you to getthe hell out of here!"

Three bums came to a house to see if they can stay for a day. The owner says "Yes." A while latter the owner says "I'm going out. So don't stick your dick in one the three holes." Then all the bums said "OK." Ten minutes latter the first bum got courious. so he sticked his dick in the first hole. He said "OOOOOOOOOOOO." Then the second bum sticked his dick in the second hole. He said "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." Then the third bum saw how much fun the other bums were having and sticked his dick in the third hole. He said "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH." When the owner came home the bums asked what were the three holes. the owner said "One hole is my wife, another is my daughter, and the third is a pencil sharpener

A beggar knocked on the door of a Beverly Hills mansion. There was no immediate answer, so the bum kept knocking. For fiteen minutes he kept this up. Finally, an angry millionaire opened the door. The beggar said, " Can I have two dollars?"
" What the hell are you doing waking me up at three o'clock in the morning just for two dollars?!" demanded the millionaire.
The bum replied, "Hey! I don't tell you how to run your business, so don't you dare tell me how to run mine!"

Little Johnny and his little red wagon goes to the store and he asks the clerk "do you have any bum?"

The clerk said, "no you mean gum."

Then Johnny asks the clerk "do you have a fuck it?"

The clerk said "no you mean a bucket."

Finally Johnny asks the clerk " do you have a cock and spank it?"

The clerk said "no you mean a cocker spaniel."

As Little Johnny goes home with all of his stuff in his little red wagon he suddenly forgot one more thing so he goes up to a old man and he said to him.

"Sir can you hold my bum and fuck it while I get my cock and spank it?!"