Bumped Jokes

A flat-chested woman was delighted when her Fairy Godmother said her breasts would increase in size every time a man said 'Pardon' to her.
She walked down the sidewalk, accidentally bumped into a man and he said, "Pardon me." Her breasts instantly grew an inch and she was ecstatic. The next day, she bumped into a man in the grocery store, he begged her pardon and another inch was added to her breasts. She was in seventh heaven!
She walked into a Chinese restaurant, collided with a waiter who bowed and said, "A thousand pardons for my clumsy behavior."
The next day, the headline in the local newspaper read, "Chinese Waiter Crushed to Death!"

Danica Patrick was repeatedly bumped from the front, side and back at her first stockcar event. And that was before she even made it onto the track.


A flat-chested woman was delighted when her fairy-god mother said her breasts would increase in size each time a man says, "Pardon" to her.

She walked down the sidewalk, accidentally bumped into a man and he said, "Pardon me." Her breasts instantly grew an inch and she was ecstatic. The next day, she bumped into a man in the grocery store, he begged her pardon and another inch was added to her breasts. She was in seventh heaven!

She walked into a Chinese restaurant, collided with a waiter who bowed and said, "A tousund pardons fo my crumsy behavre."

The next day, the headline in the local newspaper says, "Chinese Waiter Crushed to Death!"

The incident took place on the boat deck of the S. S. United States the first day at sea. A well-stacked young morsel, out for a stroll, bumped into an officer as both rounded a corner. They drew back, apologized, stepped forward and bumped again. A third try produced the same results. This time the officer courteously tipped his cap and said, "Just once more, miss-and then I really must go."

A neighbour bumped into Jenny playing outside her house after dark. Hello, Jenny, said the neighbour. Isnt it time for little girls to be in bed? How would I know? asked Jenny. I havent got any little girls.