Businessman Jokes / Recent Jokes

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?" The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."

Did you hear about the businessman who is so rich he has two swimming pools, one of which is always empty?

Wall street beggar to businessman: "You see sir, my Federal Grant is contingent on my ability to raise matching funds in the private sector."

A business man was in a great deal of trouble. He had put everything he had into his business and it was failing miserably. He owed everyone. It was so bad that he was even contemplating suicide. As a last resort he went to see a priest and poured out his story of tears and woe.
When he had finished, the priest said, "This is what I want you to do: Put a beach chair and your Bible in your car and drive down to the beach. Take the beach chair and the Bible to the water's edge, sit down in the chair and place the Bible on your lap. Open the Bible; the wind will rifle the pages, but finally the open Bible will come to rest on a page. Look down at the page and read the very first thing you see. That will be your answer, that will tell you what to do."
A year later the businessman returned to the priest and brought his wife and children with him. The man was dressed in a new custom-tailored suit, his wife in a gorgeous mink coat, the children shining. The businessman more...

Did you hear about the businessman who is so rich he has two swimming pools, one of which is always empty? It's for people who can't swim!

An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he hates Japanese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place around where he can get American food. The concierge tells him he's in luck; there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza. Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza. The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man,' 'What the heck did you put on this pizza?'' The delivery man bows deeply and says,' 'We put on the pizza what you ordered, pepper only.''

A businessman was trying to choose a lawyer, but was being very careful about it. He scheduled appointments to interview three lawyers.
At the first lawyer's office, after an initial exchange of pleasantries, the businessman said, "Okay, let's get down to business. I have an important question for you, and I want you to think carefully before answering. How much is two plus two?"
The lawyer raised his eyebrows. "two plus two is four." The businessman thanked him for his time, and proceeded to his next appointment.
The second lawyer, who was also a CPA, seemed a bit more particular than the first lawyer. After an initial discussion, the businessman again announced that he had a very important question, and asked, "How much is two plus two?"
The second lawyer went over to a computer, and entered figures into a spreadsheet. "According to my calculations, two plus two is approximately four." The businessman thanked him for his more...