Businessman Jokes / Recent Jokes
A businessman and his secretary were overcome by passion, and the executive convinced her to retire to his house for what is popularly termed a "nooner."
"Don't worry," he purred. "My wife is out of town on a business trip, and won't bother us."
The pair were necking in the businessman's bedroom, when the secretary gasped, "We got to stop now! I'm not using any birth control!"
"No problem," he replied. "I know where my wife keeps her diaphragm."
He immediately began rooting around in the bathroom. After a half-hour, he returned to the bedroom in a fury. "That witch!" he exclaimed. "She took it with her! I always knew that she didn't trust me."
A businessman who needed millions of dollars to clinch an important deal went to church to pray for the money. By chance he knelt next to a man who was praying for $100 to pay an urgent debt. The businessman took out his wallet and pressed $100 into the other man's hand. Overjoyed, the man got up and left the church.The businessman then closed his eyes and prayed, "And now, Lord, that I have your undivided attention. ... "
Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana.
He immediately sent an e-mail back to his wife, Jean.
Unfortunately, he mistyped a letter and the e-mail ended up going to a Mrs. Joan Johnson, the wife of a preacher who just passed away.
The preacher's wife took one look at the e-mail and promptly fainted.
When she was finally revived, she nervously pointed to the message, which read: " Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here!"
A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, sohe asked his secretary for some mathematical help. "If I were to give you $20, 000, minus 14%, how much wouldyou take off?" he asked her. The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings."
A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated.""And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service. Write on the envelope, "Now, you have everything."
A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant.His friend asks, "Didn't your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?"The businessman replies, "That's the accountant we're looking for."
A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The loan officer said the bank would need some security for such a loan. The business man then handed over the keys to a Rolls Royce that was parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked out and the loan officer accepted the car as collateral for the loan. An employee then drove the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parked it there. Two weeks later the businessman returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest which came to $15.41. The loan officer said, 'We do appreciate your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled. While you were away we checked and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?' The business man replied: 'Where else in New York City can I park my car for 2 weeks for 15 bucks?'