Cafeteria Jokes / Recent Jokes
How many cafeteria staff does it take to change a light bulb?"Sorry, we closed 18 seconds ago, and Ive just cashed up."
Q: How many cafeteria staff does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Sorry, we closed 18 seconds ago, and I've just cashed up.
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Sign for a litter of dachshund pups: “Get a `long` little doggie! ”
Sign in a cafeteria: “Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. In pencil beneath the sign: Socks can eat anyplace they want. ”
Sign on a music library’s door: “Bach in a minuet. ”
Sign in a restaurant window: “T-bone steak $1 Then, in fine print underneath: With meat $12?
A hardware store in Oregon has a sign that reads: “Today’s special. Below it says: So’s tomorrow. ”
Sign on restaurant window: “Great food (50, 000 flies can’t be wrong). ”
Billboard facing the road in front of a funeral home: “Drive carefully. We’ll wait. ”
Sign in a Maine restaurant: “Open 7 days a week and weekends. ”
Sign in school: “In case of atomic attack, the federal ruling concerning prayer in this building will be temporarily suspended. ”
How many cafeteria staff does it take to change a light bulb?
"Sorry, we closed 18 seconds ago, and I've just cashed up."
What`s the worst thing you`re likely to find in the school cafeteria?
The food!
In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait." On an electrician's truck, "Let us remove your shorts." Outside a radiator repair shop, "Best place in town to take a leak." In a non-smoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." On a maternity room door, "Push, Push, Push." On a front door, "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog." At an optometrist's office, "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place." On a taxidermist's window, "We really know our stuff." On a butcher's window, "Let me meat your needs." On a butcher's window, "You can beat our prices, but you can't beat our meat." On a fence, "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive." At a car dealership, "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment." Outside a muffler shop, more...
A doctor dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates and checks him in. After he's registered, St. Peter says to him, "Look at the time: you must be hungry! Heaven Cafeteria is serving lunch, why don't you get yourself something to eat?"
The doctor goes to the cafeteria and notices the long line. He immediately cuts in at the front, only to hear loud protests. "I'm a doctor" he says, "I'm a busy man, I don't have time to wait in line."
The others say, "You're in heaven now, we're all the same here, get to the back of the line and wait your turn!"
A few weeks later, waiting patiently on line for lunch, the doctor notices a man come dashing in wearing scrubs and a lab coat, stethoscope around his neck. He butts in at the head of the line and no one utters a peep. "Hey," he says to the guy in front of him, "Who does that guy think he is?"
"Oh, that's God," says the guy, "He more...