Personals Jokes

HERE ARE SOME LANGUAGE WARPS

"I dislike your insinuendoes!"
"If we don't make some changes, the status quo will remain the same."
"If Lincoln were alive today, he'd roll over in his grave."
"Candidly, I cannot answer that. The question is too suppository."
"Let's jump off that bridge when we come to it."
"We'll burn that bridge when we come to it."
"To be demeanored like that is an exercise in fertility."
"When you're talking to me, keep your mouth shut."
"I'd hate to confuse myself with the facts."
"Family planning has many misconceptions."

Many of us would be delighted to pay as we go. .. if we could only catch up from paying as we've already gone.

Personals Ad: "Financially Unstable Man - I owe everyone money.

If you're not one of my creditors, I'd like to meet you. Send phone, mine was more...

What do you call an unemployed jester?. .. Nobody's fool. Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at. Why politicians don't enjoy the game of golf -- Because for them, it's too much like their work -- you know, being trapped in one bad lie after another. Feminist's lament: "I think, therefore I am single." Sign on the door of the maternity ward at the hospital: "Push. .. Push. .. Push!"Sign in a podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels." Sign on a parking space at a garden nursery: "Reserved for plant manager." Sign on a door to a psychiatric ward: "Please do not disturb further." Sign in a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"Elbonics: Two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater. Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scornto smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams. If a tree falls in a forest, and hits a mime, does anybody say more...

***HERE ARE SOME LANGUAGE WARPS:***
"I dislike your insinuendoes!"
"If we don't make some changes, the status quo will remain the same."
"If Lincoln were alive today, he'd roll over in his grave."
"Candidly, I cannot answer that. The question is too suppository."
"Let's jump off that bridge when we come to it."
"We'll burn that bridge when we come to it."
"To be demeanored like that is an exercise in fertility."
"When you're talking to me, keep your mouth shut."
"I'd hate to confuse myself with the facts."
"Family planning has many misconceptions."

Many of us would be delighted to pay as we go. .. if we could only catch up from paying as we've already gone.

Personals Ad: "Financially Unstable Man - I owe everyone money.

If you're not one of my creditors, I'd like to meet you. Send phone, mine was more...

What do you call an unemployed jester?... Nobody's fool.
Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at. Why politicians don't enjoy the game of golf - Because for them, it's too much like their work - you know, being trapped in one bad lie after another.
Feminist's lament: "I think, therefore I am single."
Sign on the door of the maternity ward at the hospital: "Push... Push...Push!"
Sign in a podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."
Sign on a parking space at a garden nursery: "Reserved for plant manager."
Sign on a door to a psychiatric ward: "Please do not disturb further."
Sign in a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
Elbonics: Two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.
If a tree falls in a forest, and more...

What do you call an unemployed jester?... Nobody's fool.
Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
Why politicians don't enjoy the game of golf - Because for them, it's too much like their work - you know, being trapped in one bad lie after another.
Feminist's lament: "I think, therefore I am single."
Sign on the door of the maternity ward at the hospital: "Push... Push...Push!"
Sign in a podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."
Sign on a parking space at a garden nursery: "Reserved for plant manager."
Sign on a door to a psychiatric ward: "Please do not disturb further."
Sign in a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
Elbonics: Two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn
to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.
If a tree falls in a more...