Personals Jokes / Recent Jokes

What do you call an unemployed jester?... Nobody's fool.Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.Why politicians don't enjoy the game of golf - Because for them, it's too much like their work - you know, being trapped in one bad lie after another.Feminist's lament: "I think, therefore I am single."Sign on the door of the maternity ward at the hospital: "Push... Push...Push!"Sign in a podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."Sign on a parking space at a garden nursery: "Reserved for plant manager."Sign on a door to a psychiatric ward: "Please do not disturb further."Sign in a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"Elbonics: Two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scornto smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.If a tree falls in a forest, and hits a mime, does anybody say anything about it? more...

Online dating is huge now. Everyone from EHarmony to Match.com have been benefitting from the surge in personals. But impersonal nature of online personals need a little clarifying. Below you'll find a guide to better enable yourself "Find That Special Someone"
Female
Beautiful Bulgarian girl = I need a green card
Beautiful Ukranian girl = I need a green card
Beautiful Romanian girl = I need a green card....possibly a gypsy
I love doing yoga and running with my dog = a really good lay
Athletic = No tits
Spends too much time at work / Work Hard = I'm cheating on you and we haven't even met
Beautiful = Pathological liar
Contagious Smile = Takes a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure = On medication / Frequent Psychiatric Visits
Feminist = Fat
Free spirit = Junkie / Hippie
Hopeless romantic = Wants a Ring
Friendship first = Former slut
Fun = Annoying
New-Age = Body hair in the wrong places
very goal oriented = She more...